


It's You, Chara

by Novarin



Series: Fallen Child [1]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Chara isn't necessarily an asshole, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Non-Binary Chara, POV Second Person, Past Abuse, Pre-Canon, Sibling Relationship, Suicide Attempt, You can take it as romantic or familial, even I can't tell, me being a Chara apologist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5226320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novarin/pseuds/Novarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chara never expected to fall into what might as well have been another planet. But meeting that goat kid changed their life far more than they expected it to.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fallen Child

Now that you thought about it, weren't sure why you had made the journey to the top of Mt. Ebott. You had long been consumed with curiosity of the mountain that was said to contain the one entrance to the world of monsters. They were supposed to have been sealed away generations before you had been born. Personally, you didn't believe the stories. The tale was just too wild, too unbelievable. Monsters? Like the kind that lived under your bed? Impossible.

You just couldn't resist the temptation of learning this for yourself, you reasoned. That had to be it. Before you were gone, you had to know. Maybe you were hoping to just get taken out by some monster. But now that you were hopelessly lost in the caverns of the mountain's upper half, your Determination was wavering. 

You had been wandering for hours. Every turn that you hoped would lead you to the exit was a lasting disappointment. Even more disheartening were the various holes in the rock that feigned the exit with sunlight shining through. You were starting to lose hope.

Eventually, you came to a cavern much larger than the others. You continued to walk forward, not interested now that you knew this wasn't the way out. You had been tricked by the vast amount of light that poured in from the ceiling. However, your foot didn't meet solid ground. Just as you felt yourself falling forward, you shot backward, narrowly avoiding your fate. You stepped back from what you now realized was a vast, yawning pit. It positively filled the chamber you found yourself in, which had to be at least 50 feet in diameter. And even from here, you could not see the bottom. You gently kicked a stone over the edge. After several minutes, you deemed that it was far too deep to be messing around with. You turned away, deciding that this was definitely not the way to go.

Suddenly, a loud noise came from the cave in front of you. In seconds, a bat came flying out. Before you could react, you could see it was coming right at your face. With a cry, you stepped backward, shielding your face. 

The horrid realization came just a second later.

You felt something behind your heel, and looked down just in time to catch the withered root at your feet. You had tripped. And behind you was nothing but empty space. Your thoughts raced at a mile-a-minute. So this was how you were going to die. You always thought it would be at the hands of someone else, or at least more dignified than falling down a hole. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just... disappear.

Maybe this is what you wanted in the first place.

Wind whistled in your ears as you fell, yet all was quiet. Gradually, the fear that consumed your soul faded into a dull sense of acceptance. There was nothing you could do now. Why not just accept it. You could see the light blue sky above growing smaller and smaller, until it was smaller than your fist. You'd never see that sky again, or those golden flowers. That was one thing you'd miss.

* * *

“H-hey, are you alright?” The voice came piercing through the fog of your mind. Gradually, you could feel your body and the world come back into focus. Everything hurt, as if every part of your body was struck by a thousand punches and kicks. You could feel yourself lying on grass, which you figured was the reason you were still alive.

_I can't even die right._

Despite lying face-down, you could not force your body to move. Gradually, you became aware of footsteps coming closer. Eventually, you felt a hand on your back. Except, it felt different than a hand. Too big. Too fuzzy. Too inhuman.“Oh, please be alright…”

You forced your arms to move as you pushed yourself up. Every muscle screamed for rest, but you refused to listen. You had to see if your suspicions were true. After a moment, you realized the hand had pulled away, probably in surprise. You turned your head and opened your eyes.

When your vision finally cleared, a goat-like face greeted you. You would have jumped in surprise and fear, but you knew moving anymore was impossible. After further investigation, you realized that you were looking at a kid, probably your age, but mixed with a goat or something. White fur all over, and little horns, but with the body of a child. This was a monster. A real live monster. The stories about them being sealed under Mt. Ebott were true. By that train of thought, the war had to be true as well. And you were one of the things that trapped their kind down here. You were in for a bad time.

The monster smiled, and you noticed tears in his eyes. Why was he crying? You were the one who fell ten stories. “You’re alive! I’m so glad!” He looked up, and you knew he was probably looking up at the hole you had just fallen through. “You fell from… up there, didn’t you?” You nodded slowly, that movement alone very taxing. In fact, you couldn't keep yourself up any longer. Your arms shuddered, and you fell. Luckily, the monster was there to catch you. His sweater sleeves were soft, like a blanket. You wished your clothes were that nice. But he looked so concerned. You couldn't understand. Here was a monster, something that could probably destroy you with ease despite being a child, and he was taking pity on you. Of all the people who would.

The monster helped you to your feet, allowing you to use him as a crutch of sorts. Pain shot through your body with every movement. “Asriel! Where did you go?” Another, deeper voice echoed through the area. You could barely focus on it as you felt yourself fading back into unconsciousness. Your head started to fall.

The boy looked panicked again. “W-wait! Don’t pass out again! Um, what am I supposed to do in this situation… R-right, what’s your name?” Your vision was fading around the edges, but you still managed to force out an answer.

“Chara…”

“Chara, huh? That’s a nice name. Mine’s….” That was all you could hear before you blacked out.


	2. New Home

You winced as you felt yourself come back to consciousness. You wanted nothing more than to keep sleeping, to sink back into the dream world. However, your body just wouldn’t allow it. You were waking up whether you wanted it or not.

You opened your eyes and the world came into focus again. Above you was a tan-colored ceiling. You could tell you were in a bed, one of the softest you’d ever slept in. Not a single uncomfortable lump, and it was actually very warm. No wonder you had slept so well. But wait, why were you in a bed like that? You felt a bubble of panic well up in your chest. Where were you? Why were you there? You had to escape!

But before you could throw off the sheets, a loud voice filled the room. “You’re awake!” You cringed at the sound. You hadn’t thought anyone was in there with you. And you recognized the voice well enough. Well, five seconds of peace and quiet was fine.

You managed to sit up, surprised to see that there wasn’t any pain in your body. You were a little sore, but otherwise, felt pretty good. If not for the fact that there was that goat kid in front of you, you would have thought falling down that pit was a dream. Your eyes narrowed at the thing that had ruined your rest.

He looked startled. Good. “O-Oh, were you still trying to sleep? S-sorry…” He looked away. “I was just really happy, because even with Mom’s healing magic, you still didn’t wake up for the past three days, and…” You tuned out after that. Three days? You had been asleep for three days? With a bed this comfortable, that was understandable, but to think you were that hurt. Then again, considering you fell from so high up, you really should have been dead by now.  _How did I manage to fuck that up?_

You flopped back onto your back and stared up at the ceiling again. So you were stuck with the monsters you hadn’t believed existed. That was great. Talk about ironic. Though, from what you had seen, these monsters were nothing to be afraid of. This guy was a total crybaby. Not threatening in the slightest.

“So, uh, Chara?” You turned your head to look at him. He had his hands in his pockets, awkwardly, but his eyes were full of curiosity. “You fell from the surface, right? Which means you’re a human?” You nodded. No point in lying. However, his face positively lit up. It was as if he'd seen a shooting star. “Wow, so I was right! I can’t believe a human is in the Underground!” You turned away. Why did he have to be so loud and enthusiastic?

“C-can you tell me about the Surface?” That question actually made you stop for a second. Why would he care about the Surface? “I mean, I’ve never been able to see it. But my parents tell me stuff about it sometimes. Is it true that there are little lights in the sky, brighter than any crystal?” You nodded. He only grew more excited. You could have sworn he was about to jump for joy. That would have been even more annoying.

“So, what about seasons? Does it get hot or cold every few months, no matter where you are?” You nodded again, even though his idea of seasons was a bit off. But you just couldn’t understand why someone would be so interested in something like that. It was boring. Just regular stuff that happened.

“Why do you care?” You finally managed to say. You didn’t like to talk much. It was almost never worth it. But you just had to know why this monster was so excited about basic things like stars and weather.

“Because… that stuff never happens down here….” His face was suddenly downcast. You felt a twinge of guilt from seeing this really happy guy brought down to that level of sadness. But you quickly buried it. From what you could tell so far, he was shy, but cheerful. “And we can’t go to the Surface ourselves, so I figured asking someone from there would be the best way to figure it out.” He turned away. “I-I’m sorry for annoying you.”

“Don’t be.” You couldn’t stop yourself from saying even that. Something about him made you want to make him feel better. Maybe he was just that pathetic. Or maybe something else. You didn’t understand it at all. But maybe you could one day. “What was your name again?”

That shy smile returned to his face as he turned to face you again. “Asriel.”

 

* * *

 

The next few days passed in a blur. Oddly enough, just eating the food that Toriel, Asriel's mom, made caused you to get better. By the next day, even your worst injuries seemed to have healed. Monsters really did have magic or something. Not to mention they all treated you so nicely. You didn't even have to ask before being given what you needed. It was just so different from what you were used to. But of course, the day came when you were fully healed. And even though you loved staying with the Dreemurr family, you acknowledged the fact that you couldn't just stay with them forever. 

It was night when you left the room you and Asriel shared. It was weird having to share a bed with him, but bearable. Neither of you took up much space anyway. He was fast asleep, snoring quietly. You couldn't help but think he looked kind of cute, like a stuffed animal. Just with little, harmless fangs. But still, not a care in the world. But he was still annoying.

You took one last look inside the dark room and shut the door behind you. Down the hall, you could see the lights were still on in the rest of the house. You walked toward the yellow glow, past the front hall where the steps you had never gone down led, and into the study. Asgore was sitting there. The giant of a monster was sitting in a chair that almost looked too small for him, reading a book. He didn't notice your presence until you coughed.

Asgore's face lit up when he saw you, but that only made your throat constrict harder. You would miss that warm smile too. It reminded you of Asriel's which made sense considering Asgore was his father. But you couldn't imagine Asriel would ever grow up to be the absolute giant of a man his father was. He was just so small, even a little shorter than you. "Oh, Chara. I didn't realize you were still up. Do you need a glass of water?" He kept smiling, and more thoughts ran through your head.  _He's probably just pitying you. That's why he's so nice. That's why all of them are. They'll be glad to see me gone soon._

You shook your head and looked down. "I... have to go home." You could only barely force yourself to get those words out. It hurt even more now that you said it. Asgore was silent for a moment, but you could hear the slight creak as he stood up.

"Chara... I have to show you something. Come with me." He started walking, past you, and into the front hall. From the glimpse you got of his face, he seemed just as messed up over this as you.  _He's just annoyed he has to take me back up, that's all._

You followed Asgore to the stairs, and then down them. You had been told not to come down these stairs. You had thought there was some terrible secret hidden beneath the house, that you were simply not allowed to see. But now, it looked like you were going to. Asgore led you down a long, dull hallway. Not a single color stained the pure grey walls of stone around you. The walk felt as if it lasted forever. The soul crushing silence didn't help things at all.

Eventually, you could see that the hallway opened up into a much wider space. When you reached it, you were awed with the sight. All around you stretched a sprawling city. You were apparently on a high walkway above the streets. But even from here, you could see monsters who apparently had a late curfew. They didn't take notice of the human and monster above them. 

While you stared, Asgore took no notice and kept walking. You ran to catch up to his wide strides. Finally, the two of you came to a large door, which he simply walked through. You followed, and were amazed at the sight. There didn't seem to be any end to the wondrous things you saw down here. You were in a long corridor, made of what looked like pure gold. Moonlight shone in from an unknown source. Asgore continued to walk. You didn't make the same mistake as last time. 

At the end of this hallway was another grand door. However, this one led to a much shorter hallway, once again grey. Finally, Asgore turned back to you. "We're almost there. Just a bit longer." You nodded, and he led the way to a plain-looking doorway. What was inside was surprising. It appeared to be a garden, full of beautiful flowers. All of the colors you could imagine decorated the space. You couldn't help but gasp at the sight. It was beautiful. You loved plants, to the point where the small garden you had was the light of your existence on the Surface. Hopefully, those golden flowers would still be around when you got back. But what was even more surprising were the large, ornate, chairs in the center of the circle of flowers. They almost looked like thrones. But they couldn't be, right?

"Do you like it?" Asgore asked. You were surprised to hear his voice. In your wonder, you had forgotten that he was even there. "I spend a lot of time down here, tending the flowers." You nodded, unable to hide the grin on your face. But it soon faded with the realization that you wouldn't be able to spend a second in this garden again. "However, this isn't quite what I wanted to show you. Come." He continued on, and you followed, lost in your own thoughts. You were starting to regret your decision to leave. 

This last trip wasn't long. You were led to another small room, which led into a large doorway. Just standing near it, you could feel something odd coming from it. It felt powerful, and disturbing. However, Asgore stepped right in without missing a beat. You followed, hesitant.

Wait awaited you was something that filled you with confusion and a vague sense of dread. You now stood in a vast white expanse, that seemed to extend forever. In the distance, you could see a black rectangle. However, it wavered and shifted like a mirage; you couldn't be sure it was even there.

Asgore turned around, a solemn expression on his face. "This is the Barrier, the magical seal that keeps up monsters down here and off the Surface." But, humans can pass through just fine, you waited for him to say. But that never came. "And I'm sorry to say, humans cannot pass through it either." You breath caught in your throat. Asgore noticed this and nodded solemnly. "Yes, child. You cannot leave the Underground. I hate to be the one to tell you this."

That was it. You could never return home. You would never see your family, neighbors, or any human ever again, unless they fell down here like you did. Tears began to well up in your eyes. 

"But, if you wish, Chara, you can stay with us. Toriel and I would love to have another child in our family. And Asriel likes you very much. So, if- oof!" You hadn't let him finish that sentence. Before you could even control yourself, you ran straight at the large monster and embraced him in the largest hug you could muster. You couldn't even get your arms around to either side of him. He felt so soft, and so comforting. You weren't able to stop the tears running down your face. 

"Thank you!" You blubbered. And those two words just kept spilling out. You didn't even care how ridiculous you must have looked. You had never felt so happy in your life. "Thank you...." You could feel Asgore's huge hands patting you on the back as he returned the hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest here, surprised I got this chapter out so fast. I guess it's just really working out, huh? Also, this chapter's been updated with that last scene as of November 19th. Just in case anyone thought they missed something.


	3. Chocolate Isn't Food, but It Is Delicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asriel tries to get Chara something to eat. Chara's just determined to be stubborn.

“Is there anything you _do_ like, Chara?” Asriel was exasperated. The monster had been trying to find something for you to eat in the fridge, but you couldn’t bring yourself to eat any of it. After the whole thing with that stuff that was literally made of spiders, you didn’t trust any of the food you hadn’t had before. You refused to go through that again, yet everything supposedly edible was new and strange. And Toriel and Asgore, or Mom and Dad (you thought you’d never get used to that) weren’t going to let you survive off of pie forever.

You shook your head firmly. You weren’t that hungry anyway. Asriel frowned. “But you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday! If you don’t, y-you’ll…” You could see tears welling up again. You rolled your eyes. He was such a crybaby sometimes.

“Fine,” you muttered. “I’ll look. But I’m not promising anything.” You made sure to emphasize that last part before stepping forward to look into the fridge, the cold air that flowed out striking you in the face. You scanned for anything you might like to eat, but the most appealing thing you saw was a weird-looking sausage (you hoped) that had weird-looking cat ears at the end. Needless to say, you didn’t want to touch it.

You were about to simply close the door and be done with this, when you spotted something at the back of the top shelf. It was something you never thought you’d see: a rectangular bar covered in a purple and brown wrapper. You reached up immediately and grabbed it without a second thought.

“Hey, you found something!” Asriel said. “Wait, that’s not-”

You cut him off as you unwrapped the chocolate bar with intense fervor. You had never been able to have this treat in your old life. Just seeing it brought a grin to your face. You didn’t hesitate before taking a large bite of the bar. The flavor exploded in your mouth. It was so sweet, yet not so much that it was sickening. It felt as if it had been an eternity since you were allowed to eat it.

Asriel attempted to stop you, saying “Chocolate isn’t really food!” but you were finished with the treat in seconds. You found it hard to suppress the urge to eat what you were given in seconds. But now, you could tell the area around your mouth was coated in the sweet substance. You didn’t care, but Asriel looked just a bit miffed.

“Chara! Mom said you need to stop eating so many sweets!”

You shrugged, licking around your lips. “It’s better.”

Your adoptive brother sighed, knowing you weren’t going to change your mind any time soon. Even in the short time you’d known each other, he already knew that there was no stopping you once an idea got in your head. He always said you were too determined.

As the two of you left the kitchen, you heard someone else enter. It was probably Toriel, since her footsteps weren’t nearly as loud as Asgore’s. You could hear her opening the fridge, and the startled gasp as she realized something was missing. Just as you shut your bedroom door, you heard her say, “Asgore, did you eat my chocolate?” You giggled and turned away.

“You know you still need to eat something substantial, right?” Asriel asked. He had retreated to his bed, and his legs were dangling off the side of it. Similarly, you hopped onto yours and shrugged. The bed had come just a few days before, and you no longer had to share. But sleeping alone still felt strange.

“So what?”

Asriel started to kick his legs outward a bit. “Well, you don’t want to get unhealthy or something right? And it’s not like you _can’t_ eat anything down here.”  You ignored him and picked up a toy you had left on the bed. The doll was simple, but you suspected it was magic or something because no matter what you did, you could never seem to break it. At first, you had only accidentally stepped on it, and thought it had broken. Then, you had set yourself to trying to break it just to see its limits. Progress was slow.

“Wow, you’re pretty aggressive with that thing, aren’t you?” You hid your surprise. Asriel had managed to come up next to you without noticing. Why did he have to be so clingy? Just because you were technically siblings now didn’t mean he had to be around you all of the time. Part of you wanted to just read a book like Toriel kept suggesting just to keep him out of your hair. “Are you trying to break it or something?” You nodded. “Oh…. I don’t think you can. Mom said she got it enchanted so it would be almost impossible to break it.”

You ignored that as you yanked as hard as you could on one of the doll’s arms. You were determined to break this thing, no matter how long it took. Why, you weren’t too sure.

“You know, Chara, you’re kind of funny sometimes.” You turned slightly to glare at him. Were all monsters this annoying? He quickly recoiled. “I-I mean in a good way. Like, you’re interesting.” That softened your expression, if only for a moment.

“Interesting…?”

He nodded, his ears flopping a bit as he did so. The smile on his face was larger than life. “Yeah, you’re cool. And not just because you’re a human either. I really like having you around.” You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks. You turned away, hopefully before he could see your blush.

That was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to you.

You put the doll down and stood up from the bed. “Maybe I’ll give the food another shot.” You could practically feel Asriel’s smile bearing down on you.


	4. Playing With Fire

“Come on, Asriel, I know you can do it!” Asgore cheered his son on as your brother attempted to cast a fire spell. “Just focus on the very core of your soul.” Apparently, fire magic was like a staple of your adopted family. Part of Asriel’s day was trying to learn it for himself. However, he wasn’t having much luck if this lesson was anything to go by.

Asriel stood with his arms out, concentrating hard. He had his hands (paws?) out and his face was contorted into a grimace. It had been like this for the past five minutes. You hadn’t seen a single spark.

Sitting on the sidelines, you were starting to get bored. This didn’t seem to be going anywhere. And humans couldn’t even use magic unless their souls were incredibly strong, so practicing yourself was out of the question. So you had resigned yourself to sitting on the stairs that led up to the house, head in your hands.

After another painfully slow minute, Asgore let his hands hang at his side. “That’s enough for now, Asriel. Take a break, and we’ll come back to it later.” He had a smile on his face that you didn’t get. Since when did failure get you a warm smile and forgiveness? However, you turned your attention to Asriel, who was now sitting on the ground, facing away from you. From the way he was breathing, you could tell he was crying. What a crybaby.

You stood up and stretched out your back. You had been sitting there for so long, it felt like you had become a statue. However, you still walked up to Asriel and placed a hand on his shoulder. Now you could tell he was crying. The fur around his eyes was matted down with his tears.

“Why can’t I do it?” he sobbed. At that moment, Asriel put his much larger arm around his son. You hadn’t noticed him walk up to you. How could someone so large be so stealthy?

“It’s just going to take a little longer, Asriel,” the large monster replied. His voice was so full of warmth. A small bit of anger and annoyance flared up in your chest. How come people never spoke to you like that? How was it fair Asriel got to grow up in such a great home?

You shook those thoughts from your head instantly. Everything was fine now. Asgore and Toriel were your new parents. You’d get to grow up in the same home. Everything was behind you now. Well, not everything. You couldn't help but glance down at your arms, covered by sleeves. Some things never really went away.

“How about we go back inside for now?” Asgore suggested. You hadn’t noticed they were still talking. “I think I smell lunch already.” Asriel sniffled and nodded before standing up. You stood up as well.

“You’ll get it eventually,” you finally said. You had been trying to find the right words, but nothing sounded quite right. But even something like that brought a small smile to Asriel’s face.

“Thanks, Chara.” 

* * *

After lunch, you and Asriel returned to your room. Asriel had cheered up a lot since his failure at magic, so you had decided to not worry about that anymore. Instead, you decided to find something to occupy your time with. Trying to break that toy had become kind of boring to you by then. It probably wasn’t going to break without some sort of magic.

“Hey, Chara, do you want to color?” You looked over at Asriel. He was holding a few sheets of paper, as well as a box of crayons. It looked really new and pristine. You wondered where he had gotten those. “I’ve been saving these crayons for a special occasion, since it’s hard to get really good ones down here. But, we’re siblings now, so I can’t just not let you use them.” Damn, this kid was nice. Too nice for his own good. If you had crayons as nice as those to yourself, you wouldn’t have let anyone even see them. But who could say no to him?

You nodded and Asriel grinned as he placed the materials on the floor between you. He laid down and got to work immediately with a dark blue crayon. You, however, had no idea what to draw. You sat down in front of your sheet of paper thinking. What did you even like, much less had the artistic ability to draw without it looking terrible? Even your brother’s drawing was starting to look better than what you could do, and it had only been a few minutes!

You thought and thought, but nothing was coming to you. And then, you thought back to Asgore’s garden. There was something you liked more than anything. The patch of golden flowers in your village. You had found them over a year ago, looking sickly and weak. But you did your best to care for them and the patch grew and grew. It was the best part of your day, going to your small garden to care for those flowers. You hoped they hadn’t been destroyed after the last day you were on the surface.

You set to work, taking a rather pretty green crayon to the paper. Asriel was right, these were great ones. Way better than you ever got to use. When the stem and the grass around it was down, you began to look for the perfect shade of yellow. Eventually, you found what was probably the brightest shade you had ever seen. Perfect. You drew six petals, just like you remembered the flowers.  It was probably the simplest and best thing you’d ever drawn. Despite how lackluster it was, you felt proud.

“Hey, that’s a really pretty flower,” Asriel said. You looked at his drawing. It looked like a cave, but at the same time, the night sky. It was filled with countless dots of white, that you thought looked like stars. You figured it was that cave in waterfall Asriel had told you about. You had to admit, the way he drew it, it must have looked like the night sky. You had to go see it someday. “You’re a good artist."

You shook your head. “No, yours is way better. I just drew a flower I liked.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! It’s a great drawing.” Asriel moved a little closer to get a better look. “Hey, maybe Mom will hang these on the fridge. I wonder if we can get flowers like these for the garden….”

“Probably not.”

“Huh? Why?”

“They’re from the Surface. And apparently pretty rare even up there.”

Asriel’s face fell. “Oh….” However, he quickly recovered. You recognized that look of curiosity in his eyes. “Then, why not tell me about how you found them?”

“They’re just flowers I found in my village and took care of. It’s nothing.” It really was nothing, but talking about those flowers still brought a small smile to your face. It was weird.

“I hope they’re still okay then,” Asriel said. His brow was kind of furrowed. It was that face he made when he was thinking. It made him look kind of funny .“Since you’re not there, what if no one’s taking care of them?”

Your face fell, along with your good mood. He was more right than he knew. No one was taking care of those flowers now. In fact, they were probably long gone, the earth they grew on probably salted and burned by now. The thought brought an intense flash of anger to your chest. You had avoided thinking about it so far, but it was more than likely. The only things you even gave a crap about were probably destroyed.

Asriel easily noticed your new mood, and he quickly tried to change the subject. “I-if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine! Really!” You weren’t listening. You had to go cool off.

Without another word, you stormed out of the room. You shut the door behind you with all of the strength you could muster. The slam made you flinch, but you kept walking. Luckily, you didn’t see Asgore or Toriel as you stormed outside and sat on the front steps again. Marks long ago made on your arms practically throbbed, demanding new company.

Why were you so mad? It wasn’t like you could see the flowers again anyway. You shouldn’t have cared at all, much less have gotten mad at Asriel for bringing it up. But you couldn’t help but be pissed off about it. Even if the flowers weren’t gone yet, you still had a bone to pick with the other kids. If you could have, you would have stormed right up to the surface and given them all a quick kick in the teeth. 

You were still fuming when you felt a large hand on your shoulder. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Toriel’s. You hadn’t even heard her come up to you. She was pretty stealthy too. Asriel had to get it from somewhere, you supposed.

“Are you okay, Chara?” She asked. Her voice was full of the sort of love and care you had never gotten to hear. You drew your knees closer to your chest. Your arms still demanded attention. “I guess not…. Would you at least tell me what’s wrong then? Maybe we can work it out together.”

You shook your head. There was no way to make this better. But suddenly, you felt your whole body encompassed in a loving hug. Toriel’s soft fur made it feel like you were hugging a cloud. You couldn’t help but relax a little in her warm embrace.

Eventually, Toriel pulled away. It almost made you feel emptier. You wanted nothing more than to be hugging her again. “If you ever wish to talk about it, your mother is always here for you.”

For the next few minutes, you sat in silence, just enjoying the care and love. Maybe you'd be able to talk about this. One day.


	5. Home Video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asriel and Chara find an old video camera in their parent's room. And what else would kids do but play with it?

You stood off to the side as Asriel tore into the box the two of you found in his parents’ closet. Judging by the stuff he had already pulled out, the box was quite full of stuff. It was mostly boring things, like old photos and books. You weren’t particularly interested in any of it, but Asriel was determined to find something. However, with all of this stuff already strew about the floor, you doubted anything of worth was in there.

“Find anything yet?” You asked, only doing so to make him happy. You had stopped paying attention a while ago. Asriel was waist deep in the box, his legs hanging out of the top. Every once in awhile, something new was lightly tossed out and onto the ever-growing pile. You really didn’t want to clean that up later.

“No, not yet,” Asriel’s muffled voice called. Of course not. “Wait! I think I found something!” He struggled a bit before he was able to climb out of the box. In his hands was a silver device you recognized pretty well. It was a video camera. A kind of old one. It certainly looked worn.

Needless to say, you weren’t impressed. You looked between it and his huge grin. “So?”

“We can play with this!” He didn’t look deterred in the slightest by your lack of enthusiasm. “We can make a movie, or home videos or something.”

You still weren’t all that interested. Without another word, you turned to walk out of the room. He could play with that on his own. You’d find something else to do.

“W-wait! Chara!” Asriel grabbed your arm. You didn’t have to look to know he was making the face with those wide, begging eyes. You couldn’t deny that face (and you hated it so much).

“Fine,” you muttered, “but you can’t make me get excited about it.”

“Good enough!” Asriel said. And then he was dragging you out of the room. Apparently, he had forgotten about the mess he’d made. Not that you really cared. You weren’t going to clean that all up anyway.

Soon, the two of you were outside, Asriel fiddling with the camera. Eventually, he got it to turn on. You were kind of surprised to see that it was still charged or had working batteries to be honest. Maybe it hadn’t been in that box as long as you thought. “Aha! So let’s see… this is how you record, this is the play-back…” He muttered to himself as you sat down. You were expecting this to be kind of boring, but it was better than nothing.

You snapped out of your thoughts as you heard Asriel giggling. He was pointing the camera at you. It didn’t take a genius to know it was on. “You know, Chara, you look really nice when you’re deep in thought.”

“Hey! Stop recording!” You took a grab at the camera, but Asriel deftly dodged your attempt.

“You’re gonna have to move quicker than that!” He taunted playfully. All the while keeping the camera trained on you. Once again, you tried to grab it. And once again, he moved out of the way just in time. How was he so good at dodging like that?

Soon, you were both out of breath, laughing on the ground. You weren’t really that annoyed anymore. It had turned into a game at some point. It was a lot more fun than you had expected.

“Hey, Chara, do your creepy face.” He had it pointed at you again. What did he mean by creepy face? Did he think you were creepy? "Yeah, that's the one!" You hadn't even noticed you were making a face. Asriel suddenly jumped. "Oh wait, I left the lens cap on!" He quickly pulled it off, but you turned away. "Aw, come on, Chara? Just do it one more time."You firmly shook you head. He pouted, but you weren't giving in this time.

You made one last feeble grab for the camera. This time, Asriel was unable to keep it away from you and you got it in your hands. “Very funny.” You shut the camera off and got to your feet, but not before making sure the video was saved. What could you say, this might actually be pretty funny down the road.

Asriel followed your lead. “Let’s stop for now. I’m beat.” He grinned sheepishly, which was kind of appropriate now that you thought about it. “And we should probably go put everything back in the box before Mom or Dad see it.”

“Let’s keep the camera though,” you suggested.

“Definitely.”


	6. Cooking With Two Innocent Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara and Asriel try their hand at cooking a pie for Asgore's birthday. However, it doesn't go over very well.

“Are you sure we should be doing this, Chara?” Asriel whimpered. “I mean, Mom said we’re not supposed to be messing around in the kitchen alone.”

You passed down a pie tin from your perch on the counter. “Yeah, well we’re not alone. I’m here and you’re here.”

“You know that’s not what she meant!”

“You can’t prove that.” You began to climb down now that you had all of the things you needed. Flour, eggs, milk, and a bunch of other stuff the cookbook said. But just to be sure, you checked the large, rather worn, book you had propped up on the counter. “Besides, it’s Dad’s birthday, and we need a present. A pie is like, the best present for him.”

Asriel walked up to you, still looking apprehensive. “I guess so…”

You grinned widely. “Of course! Have I ever led you wrong?”

“Yeah, lot’s of times. Like when you suggested we just pretend we didn’t know what happened to Mom and Dad’s camera a few months ago. After we tore up the room and didn’t clean up.”

“First of all, they weren’t using it. Second of all, it was your idea to go digging around in there. Finally, I haven’t had a bad idea recently. That’s the key word.”

Asriel sighed as you looked back at the cookbook. You had to admit, making him annoyed was sort of fun. You had never known how fun it was to mess with people like this. Or at least it was pretty funny. “Now, let’s see…. eggs, check. Milk, yep. Etc…. Oh, we forgot the one and a half cups of butter.”

“Oh, there’s some in the fridge, I’ll grab it.”

You held out a hand to stop him before scrutinizing the page a bit more. Something was bugging you about the recipe. “Wait, I think it means buttercups. Like saying 'worms of silk' or something. It _is_ an old book.”

Asriel gave you a blank look. “Wh- why would it say that? Aren’t buttercups flowers?”

You shrugged. “Well, people put flowers in stuff a lot. Like seasoning. And the butterscotch part must mean buttercups!” Such an amazing deduction on your part. No wonder Mom said to not cook on your own. These recipes were all tricky.

Asriel thought for a moment before nodding. “Well, that makes sense anyway. I think Dad showed me some buttercups in a flower pot the other day. I’ll go get them!” With that, he rushed off.

While he was off retrieving the secret ingredient, you got to making the crust. First, you pored the flour into the bowl. However, you poured it too quickly and a lot of it puffed up into the air. You didn’t even have to look at yourself to know you were probably covered in flour. Next, you poured in the bit of salt that was needed. Luckily, that went over better than the flour. You didn’t think you’d be able to wipe a ton of salt out of your face without lots of stinging in your eyes.

“I got the buttercups!” Asriel announced. You turned around to see him in the door. A sly grin immediately grew on his face the moment he saw you. “Hey, being all white is a nice look for you. Almost makes it look like you’ve got fur.”  
  
“Shut up and help me make the crust.”

You both got to work, eventually making a half decent looking mold of a pie crust in the tin. However, it looked a little weird. Like, the wrong color and texture. Maybe that’s what all pies looked like before they got cooked. Regardless, Asriel went to put it in the probably unused oven. Since you couldn’t use fire magic, and Asriel wasn’t good enough at it to not burn the house down, you had to settled for the boring way.

You picked up the cookbook and flipped to the part where it told you how to make the filling. “Alright, now we just have to… uh…” This section was actually much more detailed than you expected. So many steps! “.... Do everything it says here. Alright, let’s go!”

Asriel tilted his head to the side slightly. “Uh, are you sure you know what we’re doing?”

You shrugged. “Hey, we’re already this far. Might as well finish it off. How hard could it be?”

Pretty hard, as you soon learned. You had to chop up and crush the buttercups, which was pretty hard with the weak knifes you had. Unfortunately, you had no idea where Mom kept the real knives. Maybe one day you’d find them. From there, you had to do a ton of mixing stuff on the stove, and it was generally a total chore. But eventually, you got your filling.

Like the crust, it looked… off. But hey, you had never seen an uncooked pie before.

“See, I told you this would work out,” you commented to Asriel as you both hefted the pot of filling over to the counter. It was much heavier than you would have liked, but it would all be worth it once you saw the look on Dad’s face. He’d be so surprised to see what you two had made.

“I still feel like something’s wrong, Chara,” he said as you finally set it down. “I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, whatever it is, we still made a great pie. Now let’s finish it!” You both took turns scooping the filling into the pie crust with a ladle. You couldn’t exactly pour it in, since you doubted either of you could support the pot correctly without it falling. Eventually, it was filled to what you believed was the correct level: to the brim.

You looked at the book one last time. “Okay, now it says to put it in the oven for another 25 minutes. Easy enough.”

Asriel nodded and carried your joint creation over to the oven once more. You set the timer to the correct time and finally sat down on the kitchen floor. Man, baking was exhausting. How did Mom do it all of the time?

Asriel joined you, clearly tired as well. He looked just as relieved to take a break. “Man, Dad’s gonna be so surprised to see we made him a pie.”

You grinned. “I know! Mom too. Maybe we can help her bake too from now on.”

“I say we make a pie with all of the best fillings next. We’ll call it the ULTI-PIE!”

You giggled and punched him on the shoulder lightly. “Wow, that is the dorkiest name for a pie I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh yeah, what would you call it?”

“Um, The One Pie to rule them all.”

You were rewarded with a light hit to the shoulder for that one. “That’s even worse than mine!” You both laughed. You had to admit, they were both pretty bad. Asgore had rubbed off on both of you apparently.

By the time the pie was done, you and Asriel had managed to clean up the kitchen. It certainly wasn’t as meticulously cleaned as when you arrived, but it was good enough. Once again, Asriel was the one to take the pie out of the oven. The heat didn’t seem to bother him as much, and the oven mitts didn’t do much in your opinion.

Finally, the pie was set on the counter. It actually turned out pretty good. It was a bit lopsided, and the color was a bit off in some places, but it actually looked good! “Great job, bro!” You said, holding your hand out for a high five. He quickly returned it. And just in time.

You heard the front door open and close, and you both knew Toriel and Asgore had finally come back home. You couldn’t have finished at a better time.

You and Asriel rushed to the front door of the house, but Asriel was faster than you. By the time you got there, Asgore had already scooped him up in a hug. However, you weren’t going to be left out, and he quickly scooped you up too.Your dad may have made you look miniscule in comparison, but all of that fur made for the best hugs. “So, how was your day home alone?”

“You didn’t get into any trouble, did you?” Toriel asked. She was right behind Asgore. “You don’t want to do anything to mess with your dad’s big day.” She gave him a strange look that you didn’t understand. Some sort of weird smile.

“Of course not,” Asriel said. “But we made you a present, Dad!”

Asgore grinned. “Oh really? What is it?” He let you both down and you led them both into the kitchen. Needless to say, both of them were surprised to see a pie waiting for them. Just in a different way than you had expected.

“Surprise!” You and Asriel shouted.

Toriel looked between you, Asriel, and the pie for several seconds. She opened her mouth to speak, but Asgore beat her to it.

“You two made this? All by yourselves?” You both nodded proudly, large grins practically splitting your faces apart. “Wow, Tori. These are some great kids, aren’t they?”

Toriel’s happy expression wasn’t different in the slightest from when she had first come into the house. “Yes, they really are, aren’t they?” Inwardly, you were relieved. That earlier calm was more or less a front. You were afraid they’d be mad at you both for cooking alone. But evidently, you two were getting off scot-free.

“Now, what do you say we eat this?” Asgore asked. However, you shook your head.

“Nope, we made it for you, remember? It’s all yours.” Asriel nodded in agreement.

“Well who am I to deny a request like that?”

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t more than an hour before Asgore started to look bad. It started with the large monster sweating a bit and feeling dizzy. And things just went from bad to worse from there.

“Uh, Tori?” Asgore said. You looked up at him from your dinner plate. He seemed kind of pale, even with all of that fur in the way. You weren’t sure how you could tell, but he certainly didn’t look good.

You looked over at Asriel, whose eyes were wide with worry. His thought process was as clear as day to you. Did we do that? You couldn’t help but think that maybe you were responsible for what was happening. But how could a pie do something so bad?

“I don’t feel so well,” Asgore forced out. “I think I’ll skip dinner tonight.” He attempted to rise from his chair, but you could see he was moving too slowly. And with far too little balance. It wasn’t more than a moment before his chair toppled underneath him and the boss monster crashed to the ground with a resounding thump.

“Dad!”

“Asgore!”

Everyone rushed to his side. Asgore lay on the ground, looking utterly spent. It was as if all of the life had been drained out of him. You felt sick to your stomach. This was your fault. He was sick because of your awful pie. But you had followed all of the directions! How could it have gone wrong?

“Children, go back to your dinner,” Toriel said. Despite her still-warm tone, you could tell she meant serious business. You didn’t argue and went back to your seat. The same went for Asriel. Toriel, meanwhile, hoisted Asgore up to his feet. You had never felt more relieved when you saw his eyes open, even if they were a little unfocused.

“Do not worry, kids. I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.”

“Let’s get you to bed, dear,” your mother said. She then immediately started walking, allowing her husband to use her as a sort of crutch. You had to admit, she was strong.

Once they were gone, you looked at Asriel across the table. He was staring at his food in silence. You didn’t have much of an appetite either. Just eating after what your food had done to your own dad? You didn’t deserve to.

“This was our fault, wasn’t it?” You muttered. Asriel nodded silently. By the way he was breathing, you could tell he was starting to cry. Truth be told, you felt like crying too. But you had to be the strong one. You held back the welling tears. Without another word, you both got up from your chairs and walked to your room. 

* * *

When Toriel arrived, you were both in your beds. The lights were off, and you hadn’t said a word in the longest time. You had your back to the rest of the room and had the covers wrapped around yourself. But still, you didn’t cry.

You heard the door open and shut, but neither you nor Asriel said anything. “Children, do you wish to talk?” No response from either of you. “I guessed as much.” You heard her walk to the center of the room and pull up a spare chair.

“I just want to say that what happened was not your faults, children,” Toriel continued. You lifted your head slightly. “You couldn’t have known that buttercups are poisonous.” Your heart skipped a beat. Poisonous? You had poisoned your father! The revelation made you retreat further into your covers. Why did you have to mess up so much? It was like you were a walking mistake.

“Do not worry, he will be fine. He just needs a little rest.” You heard the chair move. Toriel had probably stood up. “Perhaps that’s what we all need…. Goodnight, Asriel, Chara. I love you.” The door open and shut after a few seconds, leaving you in silence again.

“We really messed up today, didn’t we?” Asriel said. From the breaks in his voice, you could tell he really was crying. He was better at silent crying apparently. “I hope Dad will be okay.”

A short chuckle escaped your throat. “Heh, of course he will. He’s the best king ever! Some crappy pie made by a couple of kids isn’t going to take him out!” Panic was starting to well up in your throat. You willed it back down.

You heard a gasp. “Chara! You can’t say that!”

“Oh, crap, forgot!”

“Chara!” You smiled a bit even as your mood worsened. You still felt awful. In fact, you felt as if you’d throw up any second. But if you could at least get Asriel back to his old cheerfulness, then maybe it could be a little better. One of you deserved to be happy. And laughing it off always made people think you were fine. You could practically feel the knife you had stolen from the kitchen hidden under your mattress. You knew you'd be using it later, before you lost it again.


	7. Dreaming of the Past, and Then Back to the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Chara's past, before the Underground

You had found the flowers on the way home from your school one day. On the way back from the store, you spotted the golden petals peeking out of the bushes. You slowed, curious. After a moment of hesitation, you stepped closer and pushed aside the branches. What greeted you was a wondrous patch of practically shining golden flowers. It was probably only a few feet wide, and all of the flowers were rather small, but you were entranced nonetheless. You had never seen flowers like them before, and you had certainly been around Mt. Ebott often enough.

Just as you reached forward to touch one, you heard a voice behind you. “What’cha doin’ there, little bro?” You recognized that jeering tone at once. You flinched, but immediately whipped around, closing the bush behind you.

You couldn’t bear to look your older brother in the face. “I, uh, just dropped my pen in the bushes. It was nothing.”

There was a pause before you felt a painful slap on your back. You suppressed the whimper. “Alright then. But if you’re late to get home, Mom and Dad will be pretty mad, huh?” He wasn’t being sincere at all. You knew he just wanted an excuse to see you get in trouble with your parents. You wondered just what the guy had up his sleeve this time.

You were promptly pulled along the dirt path, with only a short look back at the bush you had seen the golden flowers behind. You’d be back tomorrow. Maybe you could move them somewhere else soon. They didn’t look too healthy.

When you got home, you immediately detached yourself from your brother’s grip and made your way upstairs. Despite his earlier warning, you knew that your parents didn’t care if you came home or not as long as it didn’t mess with how the rest of the village saw them. You had a feeling the only reason you were still around was because they knew it would make everyone else see them badly if you just disappeared.

Once you reached your room, you sat down on your bed and pulled a book from your bag. You only had a few precious hours before your brother would come in and want to do something. Knowing him, it would probably be wrestling, which usually consisted of him throwing you around like a rag doll. You’d grown used to the bruises it caused, so it didn’t bother you as much anymore.

The book you had was a history book. Or at least you thought it was at first. It was about some war between humans and monsters centuries ago. But the premise was ridiculous. Monsters weren’t even real. And the book said that they were sealed below ground around Mt. Ebott with a magic spell. You scoffed at that out loud. Like anyone would fall for that.

“Reading some boring history book again?” You flinched. He was standing at the door, that fake smile plastered on his face. Before you could react, he walked up to you and snatched the book from your hands. It looked smaller in his hands. As he started to flip through, his smile faded.

“What is this bull? Monsters? Magic?” He carelessly tossed it on the bed. You were relieved that he had at least not ruined it. You still had to return it to the library later. “You don’t honestly believe this stuff, do you?”

You shook your head quickly. He didn’t seem convinced. “Then why would you be reading it?” He lowered himself to look you in the eyes. “You know, Mom and Dad don’t like it when you start filling your head with this nonsense.” He jabbed a finger into your chest sharply. You fell back. Now your chest hurt. “But don’t worry, Little Bro.” A burst of discomfort shot through you. Why did he have to keep calling you that? It was better than your actual name, but only slightly.

“I won’t tell them.” That smile returned, only now it promised much more than passive jeering and messing with you. You didn’t trust him for a second. “You just have to do something for me, you know, ‘an eye for an eye’?” You were pretty sure that’s not how the saying was supposed to be used, but something told you that he would find a way to make it work. You steeled yourself for what was to come.

 

 

     The next morning, you got up early, before the sun was up. While everyone was asleep, you crept downstairs and outside, where you entered the shed out back. The door was so creaky, you were sure it would wake everyone inside. However, you managed to avoid getting caught. For now.

You went to a shelf in the back, where you knew the gardening tools were stored. You grabbed whatever you thought would be needed: a spade, gloves, a few small flower pots, and a bit of fertilizer just to be sure. You were sure no one would know it was missing. You were probably the only one who went out to this shed for anything except a shovel for when it snowed.

Now that you had everything, you set out. You had your backpack, because you doubted you’d be able to make it back home before school started that day. Knowing your parents, they would probably forget about you until they next saw you. It was no skin off your back. You had all of the time you needed.

It took you close to twenty minutes of walking to reach the patch of golden flowers again. It was starting to get a bit bright out by that point, and you could actually see the flowers. Just as you thought, they didn’t look very healthy. That was an easy fix. You just had to find them somewhere else to grow.

You set to work, gently digging under the closest flower. Eventually, you uprooted it, hopefully only damaging the smallest roots. You placed it in the first of the pots you brought, along with a little extra dirt. You repeated the process with the other pot. Now, all that was left was to find a place to plant them again.

You wandered further into the grove of trees. Gradually, you found that there was actually a path there. It was long since covered in weeds and overtaken by the forest, but still there. Soon enough, you came to a small clearing, practically devoid of trees. This was perfect.

You sat down in the grass and found yourself enjoying the soft breeze. It was very refreshing, and you realized this was probably the most enjoyable thing you’d done in ages. You finally got down on your knees and started digging, making a nice new patch for the flowers.

 

 

     Over the next month, you returned to your patch of golden flowers every day, before and after school. No one seemed to mind at home, so you stayed as long as you could, just enjoying nature. You eventually found that the flower seeds were rather good at sticking to your clothing, and now you saw more and more of them sprouting around your house. None had managed to bloom yet, though. You couldn’t wait to see the day your yard was full of the flowers, all swaying in the breeze. Wouldn’t that be a sight? Overall. it was probably the best month of your life so far.

But all good things had to come to an end eventually.

You were sitting in the midst of your flowers, making sure you weren’t accidentally crushing any. The patch had grown a bit since you started. These flowers grew very quickly, at least when they were near others. You made a mental note to look these flowers up someday.   
  
“So this is where you got off too!” Your heart stopped right then and there. You turned, and there he was, your older brother, standing in all of his douchey glory. He was sporting a few scraps and a nice cover of leaves, which brought a small smile to your face. But this was no time for smiling.

He stepped forward, smashing a flower beneath his foot. You twinged, wanting to stop him, but it was too late. “Wow, I didn’t realize you were this much of a wuss,” he said. “I mean, I knew you were practically a little girl, but playing with flowers? This is just ridiculous.” He chuckled. “Just wait ‘till Mom and Dad hear about this one. The other kids’ll want to beat your ass even more.” He crushed another group of flowers.

You felt something welling up inside of you. You felt hot all of a sudden, like your blood really was boiling. How dare your brother intrude on the one place you could call yours? How dare he destroy it like this? And how dare he try to say that you were wrong for doing it in the first place?

Before you knew it, you were up on your feet. The only thing you could do was ACT, before it got any worse. No, that wasn’t right. You had to FIGHT.

You barreled down at your brother, tackling him to the ground. His head hit the ground with a loud smack. You didn’t stop the onslaught. You punched every part of him you could reach; face, chest, groin, nothing was safe. You were done just letting him treat you like garbage. You were done being the punching bag. You were done with him!

Finally, you stopped. Your knuckles were stained with blood. His blood. You stared at them, mind completely blank. Looking down at his bruised and bloody face, you knew that you should have felt something. Regret, more anger, anything! But you couldn’t. Just emptiness filled your body.

You sat there, in a numb silence for hours. You occasionally looked at your brother. He was still breathing. Not dead. But once someone found him, you would be. That was right. The minute he woke up, he’d know what you did to him. And unlike you, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you. He could blame it on not knowing his own strength, or as self defense. And no one would care. You would disappear off the face of the earth, and no one would care. Not a single living soul. Then, it finally hit you.

You would disappear. Just not on his terms.

You looked up at Mt. Ebott. The peak loomed high above your head. The sun was just behind it, casting an odd glow. You had made up your mind. It was time you saw if monsters were real.

* * *

 You woke up in a cold sweat. You had to run, get away before anyone found out what you had done! Why were you in your room? You should have been far out of town by then! Your heart was racing. Did you get brought back here? You were probably about to face a much worse punishment. You had to escape!

You moved your hand to throw off the sheets, but a weight held it down. You slowly became aware of the hand your own was enclosed in. Fluffy, warm, soft. It all came rushing back. You had fallen in the pit. You were with your new family now. Asriel was holding your hand. And in your bed for some reason.

You felt movement. He was waking up. “Chara?”

You shook, unable to answer him. The events you had relived in your nightmare were still haunting you. You weren’t going to be able to escape your past. No matter what, you were always going to be the problem child, the one who wasn’t wanted. The mistake who did nothing but make them.

“Chara!” Asriel’s voice was more urgent now. He was worried. About what? You? Why would he be? You were the monster here. You didn't deserve this! You felt his large hands around your shoulders. In the dark, you could just barely see his face. “Chara, it’s okay! You were having a nightmare, and I was trying to calm you down. It wasn’t happening!”

You looked into his eyes, trying to calm down. He really cared? That didn’t make sense! No one did! Not about you. You wanted nothing more than to push him away, before he smashed your trust apart. But looking at his face, it was so sincere. That worry was real.

Finally, it felt as if a dam had broken inside of you. Before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face. You choked back ugly sobs as your fell forward and cried into Asriel’s shoulder. If nothing else, Asriel wanted you there. He actually cared about you, and not because he had to.

Nothing was more comforting than having a shoulder to cry on.

Eventually, the tears slowed, and you pulled back from the hug Asriel had embraced you in. Even in the darkness, his warm smile was clear as day. “Are you okay?”

You wiped your eyes with your sleeve. “Heh, yeah. I’m good now. Sorry about your shirt.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go back to sleep.” You nodded and lay back down with him. Having someone that close, someone who really cared for you, you had never been happier.

You fell asleep with your hand wrapped firmly around your brother’s. This time, you wouldn't use the knife.


	8. Chapter 8

“And then, the monsters were forced to retreat into underground caves, deeper and deeper until the light was no longer able to be seen. But rather than pursue them, the humans had their seven strongest spell-casters create a barrier to seal the monsters below ground. Only someone with a human SOUL and a monster SOUL would be able to pass through it from the Underground, and it would take the power of another seven human SOULs to break it completely.”

You felt as if your stomach was twisting in on itself as you listened to Toriel speak. It was your weekly history lesson, something she very much looked forward to. You had heard she mentioned wanting to be a teacher before, and she certainly looked the part as she taught you and Asriel every day. However, you were surprised that the war had never come up in the past few months.

That book you had found on the surface never gone into details about the war, which was understandable. Humans didn’t even care about the war anymore. The existence of monsters wasn’t even remembered by them. But to monsters, that war was everything. It was the reason they were trapped down here, unable to even see the sun. Life itself was a consequence of it. And humans were awful during it.

Even though Toriel was obviously sugarcoating things, probably for your sake, you couldn’t help but know how brutal the humans were during the war. Human SOULs were stronger than a monster’s, in a sense. Monster SOULs were their whole being. Humans’ were their essence too, but with a physical shell around them. And they lasted long after death. A magic attack couldn’t do anything if a person struck a monster down before they could use it. And humans used this information to its limit.

Monsters died by the thousands. It was only after hiding away underground that the carnage finally stopped. But you had the feeling any stragglers would have been hunted down mercilessly. It made you sick. How could someone just kill without remorse? Humans were awful. Why did you have to be born one?

“Chara?”

“Huh?” You snapped out of your thoughts, seeing that Toriel was looking at you. You quickly composed yourself. “Yes?”

“You were paying attention, correct?” You nodded, but her sly grin let you know she wasn’t buying it. This was the fifth time that day. Then again, you thought it was fair, considering how little sleep you had last night. You had no idea how you were expected to pay attention after how much you had embarrassed yourself in front of Asriel. You still couldn’t look him in the eyes.  “Well, I suppose we can cut this lesson short for today. Go have fun, children.”

Asriel was up on his feet in seconds, holding out a hand to help you up. “Chara, I already know what we should do!” You hesitantly took his hand and stood up. As you started to walk back to your room, he continued. “We haven’t used the camera in a while, and I’ve got the perfect thing to film!” You raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t pay any mind to it.

You went back to your room, where Asriel grabbed the video camera from the closet. On the floor was stacked a small pile of VHS tapes. Some, you had found in Asgore and Toriel’s closet. They were just old home videos, usually from when Asriel was a baby. Your favorite was the one where he tried to ram his dad like an actual goat at the age of three. Asriel didn’t take kindly to your amusement that time.

However, the majority of the tapes were the result of you and Asriel fooling around with the camera. By then, your parents had figured out you had the camera. They were just glad someone was getting use out of it, so you kept it and just kept filming all sorts of stuff. Sometimes the two of you left it on out of habit.

As the two of you left, you couldn’t help but look back at your parents’ room. Asgore was still in there, probably still throwing up or something. That knotted feeling in your gut returned. You hated this guilty feeling. You’d have to make it up to him somehow.

“Chara, hurry up!” Your attention refocused on Asriel. He was already starting down the stairs.

“Coming!”

When you reached the garden, you looked at Asriel, a bored expression on your face. “So, what’d you drag me out here for?” You were trying your best to act normal. Abrasiveness worked.

“Okay, hold the camera, and focus it on me,” He said, handing it to you. You turned it on, and after it booted up, did as he said. He smiled broadly. You had a hard time restraining even a small grin. His happiness was infectious. “Alright! Now watch this! Star Blazing!”

Asriel held his hands out in front of him, eyes closed in concentration. After a moment, a bright light began to form between his hands. It grew brighter and brighter, until it formed a star sheathed in rainbow light. Your eyes widened. Where had he learned to do that? This wasn’t fire magic!

It didn’t end there. With a short, joyful cry, Asriel waved his arm in front of him in a large arc. At once, white stars began to fly forth. They flew all the way to the far wall, where they crashed harmlessly into the stone.

You stared, unable to come up with words. Asriel beamed at you, obviously proud that he had impressed you. You shut the camera off. “Asriel… wow.”

“You like it?” He looked at you expectantly. “I’ve been making this up lately, since I’m not that good at fire magic like Mom and Dad. But I think this is way cooler.”

You nodded. “Of course it is!” You paused. “Well, except for the name. That’s kind of lame.”  
  
He winced, as if you had actually hit him. Sheesh, what a drama queen. “Oh, that… I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

You crossed your arms. Your usual demeanor was back. “Well you shouldn’t have called it out. Who does that outside of anime?”

“What’s anime?” Asriel asked. You sighed. Man, this kid had a lot of learning to do.

“That doesn’t matter. But what does is whether or not you have any more attacks so badly named. Man, you are just like your dad.” His eyes widened at the mention of being like his dad, but you couldn’t tell whether it was because he was proud to hear that or embarrassed. But seriously, they were both bad at naming things. New Home, Home, even Asriel’s name was just a mash-up of his parents’.

“Well, I came up with some other attacks….” He muttered, looking up at the ceiling. Oh God, they are just as bad. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled up a few sheets of folded paper. He quickly smoothed them out and set them down carefully in front of you. They were just as bad as you expected. Not to mention the last drawing, which was a picture of what you guessed was an older Asriel but with some crazy markings  captioned “God of Hyperdeath.” He was such a nerd.

As he explained his own rather ridiculous attacks (very thoroughly), you felt your mind wandering. What was he even going to do with these? It wasn’t like there was going to be another war anytime soon; the humans had taken care of that before either of you were born. And as far as you could tell, every monster loved the Dreemurr family. They didn’t even need guards in the palace. You doubted anyone would ever attack and make Asriel use his magic, so what was the point?

Well, maybe there was.

Humans probably weren’t well-liked down in the Underground. It was just luck that the Asriel had found you and not some violent human-hating killer. By that logic, you were more likely to be attacked than anyone. And you couldn’t even defend yourself. So.... was he becoming stronger.... to keep you safe?

The thought brought a weird feeling to your chest. He couldn’t be doing this for you! Why would he? But even Toriel had said he was working harder when it came to magic ever since you arrived. And he was always trying to keep you out of trouble, no matter what you did. Not to mention the night before, when he did everything he could to try and comfort you during that nightmare and panic attack. He was always trying to protect you.

Just like a brother should.

You breath caught in your throat and you could feel the tears start to fill your eyes. _No, not now! I can’t just keep looking weak in front of him like this!_ But nothing could hold your tears back. They poured down your face, and Asriel noticed immediately.

“Ch-Chara! Are you alright!” He rushed over immediately. “Why are you crying? Was it that bad?”

You did your best to wipe away the tears that were streaming from your eyes. BUt it was like trying to stop a dam from overflowing. So many pent up feelings were coming to the forefront of your mind. You had just kept burying them under a guise of not caring, but now they were shooting to the surface and you couldn’t stop them. “No you i-idiot!” You hiccuped. Oh God, you were hiccuping. “It’s just… I’ve never been so happy.” You couldn’t hide the smile of your face, despite the snot and tears that were pouring down your face.

Before you knew it, Asriel’s arms were around your body. His face was right next to yours. It was so comforting. “I love you too, Chara.” Wait, you didn’t say that! Why would he think… no, that was right. You loved him. He was a greater friend no—a greater brother—than you had ever known. And you’d be damned to find a part of you that didn’t love him like one.

You were together like that for the longest time. The whole time, his chest was heaving with the sobs too. You must have looked so pathetic like this, two kids crying their eyes out over how happy they were to be with each other. You were just glad no one could see you then. And you always called him the crybaby.

Eventually, you managed to stop crying, and wiped your face on your sweater’s sleeves. You could tell that your eyes were probably puffy and red by then, but you didn’t care.

“All better now?” You heard Asriel say.

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yeah.” You both pulled away, and you finally got a look at Asriel. He looked just as bad as you figured you did. But there was a hint of hesitation in his face too. Like, he really wanted to say something.

Apparently, he was able to force it out. “So, you were talking in your sleep last night.” He looked away. “And I heard some stuff, stuff I’m not sure you’re ready to talk about.” I know it’s a touchy subject, but if you ever want to talk—like, about your life on the surface—you know I’m always there for you, right?” Man, was it that obvious that your life sucked before?

You smiled faintly. “Yeah, I know. Maybe one day.”

Asriel nodded. “Good. I’m gonna go help Mom with lunch now, you want to come along?” You shook your head. You needed a minute alone. “Sure. See you soon!”

You listened to Asriel’s footsteps as he walked away. Soon, it was once again quiet, other than the sounds of birds and insects buzzing around. You were alone, with just the flowers.

Eventually, you brought your attention to the flowers that were right in front of you. They were a bright yellow, not unlike the golden flowers you cared for back in your village. Just not as bright. Buttercups. The things that had brought back all of those bad feelings. How could something so devastating be so pretty? Asgore would be dying right now if you hadn’t cooked the things or used more. And then where would the monsters be? Well, still living down here, just sadder.

You thought back to the story of the war Toriel was telling you that day. It would take a human SOUL and a monster SOUL to cross the barrier, and even more to break it completely. Did monsters really deserve to be trapped down here? Somehow, you doubted they were the cause of the war so many years ago. And they’d never get out. You were the first human to fall down there, period. And that had taken so many years. Monsters would never get to leave.

Unless one was able to get a human SOUL and cross the barrier to get six more.

The thought hit you like a wrecking ball. Monsters could leave, if one could just get past the barrier. And then they could just wait around a graveyard or something for the other six. Sure, things could be awkward at first—no one even knew monsters existed anymore—but things could end up differently than before. Everyone could be happy.

They just needed one human SOUL to get the ball rolling.

You looked down at yourself. One SOUL was all it took. And you were the only human in the Underground. Maybe you could do something with your miserable life. Maybe you could get the happy ending that everyone else deserved.

Asriel at least deserved to see the sun after giving you the best year of your life.


	9. "The Underground is Basically Full of Bad Jokes (Including Me)"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dreemurr family goes on a field trip to Snowdin. And things get crazy.

“Not even gonna fight back, are you, Chara?” The boy taunted. You felt another sharp pain in your leg as he kicked your leg hard. You could already tell you’d be covered in bruises by the next day.

“Man, he’s such a wimp,” another kid said. “No wonder he plays with flowers and reads all of the time.” He shoved you to the ground, harder enough to knock the wind out of your lungs. You stared up at him from the dirt, nothing but cold fury in your eyes. The tears that were trying to come out stung, but you had felt worse pain.

The first boy grinned cruelly. “Aw, is the sissy mad? Well what are you going to do about it, kid? Fight me? Or just keep staring at me until lasers shoot out of your eyes?” You wished he could know just how much you wanted that to happen. But until you could get cybernetic implants, that wasn’t happening. And neither was fighting them. They were both your brother’s age, and almost as bad as him.

So, you went for the third option. You ran. As quickly as you could, you jumped to your feet and ran as fast as you could. The pain that wracked your entire body became background noise as you did your best to focus on the path ahead of you. Unfortunately, they were both faster, and your cuts and bruises weren’t helping. You felt a sharp pain in the back of your head— a rock— and crashed to the ground. In seconds, they were upon you.

 

* * *

 

You woke up with a pained gasp. Every muscle was still locked up, and you couldn’t force yourself to move. You could still feel the cuts and bruises that decorated your skin. You could have sworn those kicks and punches were still happening. You wanted to run. You wanted to fight back. You weren’t sure what you wanted. But you knew you needed it to be over.

Gradually, you became aware of a voice, and the room around you came into focus. “Chara! It’s okay!” Your breathing slowed slightly. You could finally see Asriel’s face right above yours, and just how concerned he was. A night light had been put in the room recently, so you could actually see that you were in your room. Underground. Not on the Surface with those terrible kids.

You finally relaxed slightly, but you couldn’t stop the pounding in your chest. You were covered in sweat too. Gross. But Asriel looked relieved, his fanged smile growing wide. “Oh thank God you’re awake. I thought I’d have to get Mom or Dad again.”

You looked away, embarrassed. You could feel your cheeks burning with the blood rushing to them. The nightmares had become even more frequent in the past few months. At first, it was only once a week. It all started when you got that first one almost two years ago. But now it was rare to not have one. You had gone to sleeping in the same bed as Asriel just for some extra comfort nearly every night. But you could barely sleep. And you felt awful for keeping him up with your issues. How did he put up with you?

Asriel held your hand tightly while you allowed yourself to calm down. You hated being treated like a little kid (which one of you was older anyway?), but you couldn’t deny that being by Asriel was calming. He just had that air of protectiveness around him that you couldn’t help but feel safer in. It was just like with his parents. Monsters were just more caring in your experience. Why couldn’t humans be like that?

Finally, you had calmed down enough to look normal. “Are you okay now?” You nodded. He smiled. “Good. Let’s try going to sleep again, okay?” You both lay back down, Asriel draping an arm over you. Once again, you burned with embarrassment. But you could stand it just this once.

  


    The next morning, you woke up first. Asriel was still beside you, snoring softly. That was weird. He usually woke up first. But since you were already up, you didn’t feel the need to stick around. You did your best to get out of bed without waking him, carefully sliding out from the sheets. Just because you were up didn’t mean he had to be. Luckily, you got out without any trouble.

Since you had nothing better to do, you decided to see if Asgore and Toriel were up. You had never seen either of them not-awake, so you were kind of curious as to when they woke up in the morning. Or if they ever even slept in the first place. To be honest, you weren’t sure if Boss Monsters were like humans in that sense when they grew up.

You walked over to Asgore and Toriel’s room, where you saw the door was already slightly open. Just enough to peek inside. How convenient was that? You stepped closer and peered in. You didn’t want to be loud, just in case they were asleep.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you were soon able to see Toriel and Asgore sitting on the edge of their bed, talking. While disappointed that you didn’t get up earlier than them, you were still curious as to what they were talking about. And eavesdropping wasn’t bad if it was just your parents.

“- nightmares, they’re really getting worse, aren’t they?” Toriel said quietly. You had to strain to hear her voice well. Were they talking about your nightmares? How did they even know you were having some particularly bad ones last night? Were you being loud? Or did they check up on you?

Asgore sighed. His voice was much easier to hear. He was just sort of naturally louder. “Yes, it would appear so. But Chara refuses to talk about them, so I can’t imagine what the problem is. Perhaps they miss their family on the Surface.” You cringed at the thought. You? Miss them? You would never want to go back! But then again, he was right about you not talking about it. Maybe they took it the wrong way.

“Actually, I do not think so,” Toriel replied. You could sense the sorrow in her voice. But why? “Asriel told me that Chara sometimes talks about their life before the Underground.” You frowned. Little snitch. “They said that they never got much attention from their parents. And didn’t have many friends. I get the feeling that it’s quite the opposite of missing their old life.”

Asgore brow raised in surprise. “Are you suggesting that Chara might not have been very happy before?”

Toriel nodded. “You must have wondered why they were on the mountain in the first place. I doubt it was a family hiking trip.”

“You may have a point there. When I told them they couldn’t go home so long ago, they broke into tears. I thought it was because they were glad to just have a home with us, but maybe they were glad that they weren’t going to be sent back.” Asgore looked thoughtful as he said this, but you could see the pity in his eyes. You hated it when people felt bad for you. Why couldn’t they just worry about themselves? You just didn’t get it.

“Whatever their reason was, we should make Chara feel as welcome as possible, just like we have been. Now come, let’s go get breakfast ready.”

“Hey, Tori? What do you say we go on a little family outing today. I feel like the kids would enjoy getting out of the house for a bit.”

“Sounds great, Fluffybuns.” Ugh, was that her pet name for him? You regretted ever hearing that out loud. But still… King Fluffybuns.... you’d think of that every time you looked at him. How were you supposed to take him seriously now?

You saw Toriel walking toward the door and made a run for it. Even if you were pretty sure it was okay to be listening— they were talking about you after all— you didn’t want to get caught. Just before Toriel opened the door, you put on your best “just woke up” face as you turned around. For all intents and purposes, you looked like you were walking to their room just as they came out.

Toriel seemed to buy it. “Oh, Chara. Up already? Did you have another nightmare?” You shook your head. They didn’t need to worry about you. She smiled broadly. “That’s good. Well, why don’t you come help me make breakfast?” She held out a hand and you gratefully took it. Maybe today would be a fairly good day after all.

  


   Snowdin had to have been named by Asgore as well, or at least you thought so. Or maybe it was Toriel. She seemed to like puns a lot, and damn, was the name of this town punny. Someone must not have paused when they were saying they got snowed in and it stuck. Either way, it was bad.’

You were bundled up in bulky snow clothes, which you didn’t appreciate much. You could barely move around, let alone run! And you probably looked ridiculous waddling around like you were. The only consolation was that Asriel looked just as stupid as you did. Luckily, you were just outside of the main part of town. You would not have wanted anyone to see you like this.

“Why do I have to wear this?” You grumbled darkly.

“Because you’ll catch a cold without it, dear,” Toriel replied. She was right. You just didn’t want her to be. You wondered how it even snowed down here, apparently year round. Were you under Antarctica or something? There weren’t even any holes in the roof of the cave here! I swear, if this is because of some ice monster—

You were shocked out of your thoughts by Asriel calling to you. He had gotten a head start on the playing, and you could see he already had a snowball in his hands. “Wanna have a snowball fight?” He smiled playfully.

You grinned as you reached down to gather up a clump of snow in your gloved hands. “I’m going to warn you now, you aren’t gonna win!” With that, you chucked the ball of snow as hard as you could at Asriel. He turned his shoulder to take the hit, and it smashed against him. Harmlessly. Probably.

“Nice shot, Chara! but can it stand up to this?” He was so dramatic. He lobbed his projectile at you, but you quickly sidestepped. “Hey!”

“What? Did you really think I was just going to stand there and take it?” If there was one thing you were good at, it was dodging. Even in this bulk. Asriel threw another one, but you cleanly dodged that one too. “Try aiming where I’m going,” you said jokingly. You bent over to form another snowball. Just as one hit you in the back. How did he make them so quickly?

“I finally got you!” Asriel cheered. You glared, but with no real malice behind your expression. That streak wasn’t about to last long! Behind Asriel, you could see Asgore and Toriel were enjoying themselves watching you enjoy yourselves. You could never understnd that. Who had fun watching other people have fun together? You certainly never did. But hey, whatever floats their boat.

Once again, you chucked a snowball at Asriel. His eyes widened, but he decided to take a page from your book and dove to the side. Not as graceful as you would have done it, but it got the job done. However, that let the ball keep flying. Directly into Asgore.

“Oof!” He winced comically, and you could tell he probably didn’t even feel the hit. “Chara, you’ve got a strong throw… but can you two handle me?” Your eyes widened, as did Asriel’s. He seemed to know what was coming.

“I say we make a run for it,” he suggested. A glance at Asgore showed he had bent over and was piling up snow in his arms. And it was quite a lot. Toriel was shaking her head next to him, but smiling.

“Got it.”

You both ran as hard as you could, but in your snow pants, you weren’t going to make it far. You took a glance back and saw that Asgore was catching up to you both quickly. He was completely unhindered. Not to mention he had much longer legs than both of you. “We’re not gonna make it!” Asriel cried, but you could tell he was looking forward to whatever it was that was about to happen.

All of a sudden, you saw Asgore’s shadow all around you. He caught up. “Ready?” You turned around just in time to see a gigantic pile of snow drop from his hands. So that’s what his special attack is.

You were instantly buried under the pile of snow, and you could tell Asriel was down there with you too. However, it was the good kind of snow, powdery and soft. Neither of you had any trouble escaping your cold prison. Your head popped out, causing a lot of snow to flutter about you. Asriel’s head soon emerged as well. He was covered in snow now.

You snickered, but it soon grew into an all-out laugh. Above you, you could hear Asgore’s deep laughter as well, and Asriel soon joined in. “Okay,” you wheezed, “Dad, you win.”

“Oh really?” he asked with a smile. “Are you sure you can’t take another one of my attacks?” You and Asriel both shook your heads firmly.  One of those was enough for one day. Toriel seemed to think so too. She held out her hands and helped both of you out of the snow.

“How about we all go take a break at the library?” She suggested. “I think that’s enough snow for now.”

 

 

     Soon, you were all in the library (that had a misspelled sign for whatever reason), taking a well-deserved break from running around in the cold. You had long since shed that winter coat in the corner to take up one of your favorite hobbies: reading. You had already read all of the interesting books Toriel and Asgore had, and most of Asriel’s were too short to last more than a few hours. It was nice to finally find something new.

The book you had picked up was one that reminded you of the last one you had read on the Surface. It was all about the war between humans and monsters, but this one was much more detailed, even more than Toriel’s explanation. You were right about her holding back information. It even went into detail about the likeliest reason the humans had won.

It made you sick.

The book spoke of how humans possessed the ability to simply care less about taking lives the more they took. And the less hesitation they had, the less monster souls could stand up to their merciless actions. It would have taken a thousand monsters just to stand up to one of the human warriors in the war.

One line in particular caught your attention. “Monsters’ souls are believed to be composed of love, mercy, and compassion. However, this might not be true, as some monsters possess very little of these qualities, and humans, whose SOULs are much stronger, do not need to possess any of these qualities.”

Your face contorted into a frown as you closed the rather heavy book. You knew all too well that humans didn’t need any of that. You wished that you knew a human who had love, mercy, or compassion. They were all worse than every monster you’d ever met. As far as you were concerned, humans were the worst beings on the planet. You hated them.

And you were one of them.

The realization made you feel as if you had taken a punch to the gut. You hated yourself just as much as other humans, maybe even more so. You had never felt like you deserved the compassion the Dreemurrs gave you, and you never did. You were one of the things that had kept them trapped underground for countless years! Why were they so nice to you? Besides, you were a coward— too weak to even stay and face the consequences of what you had done to your brother or stand up for yourself. You weren’t even wanted by your own parents! That had to mean something!

Your life was so miserable that you had even tried to end it all those months ago.

You shook with anger and a mix of other emotions you didn’t understand. You didn’t even care that everyone who was in the small library could probably see you having a breakdown. They were probably already staring before that. Why wouldn’t they stare at some freak human in their midst? They either resented or hated you already. They thought you were just like the humans from the war, and maybe you were. No matter how much you tried, you could barely muster any love or compassion, not even for yourself. How pathetic was that? You were worthless. You deserved to die.

“Chara?” You felt a hand on your shoulder. It was Asriel’s, no doubt. The king of the pity squad. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

You looked up and glared at him. It was the feircest one you had ever managed to muster, and he shied away from it. His eyes were wide with surprise and fear as he took a step back. That was right. That was how he should have looked at you the whole time. You were the real monster. “Chara, what’s wrong?”

He was still trying to get through to you? How sad was that? You stood up, pushing the chair backward. “Nothing.” Your voice was rough and blunt. But you carried as much rage in that one word as you could. Maybe then he’d learn to just back off. You weren’t just some injured animal he was supposed to feel bad for.

“Chara! Please, just tell me what’s wrong!” He attempted to put a hand on your shoulder, but you roughly slapped it away.

“Just leave me alone.” You turned away to put the book back where you found it. However, Asriel was relentless.

His eyes were now filled with what you could only describe as determination. Probably to figure out what was wrong with you. Good luck. That’s a long fucking list. “Was it that book? Or did you have a nightmare while you were awake?” His hand shot out faster than you expected, and he took it from your hands.

“Hey! Give it back!” You attempted to grab it again, but he pulled it out of reach and read the cover.

“The Sealing War? Like when the humans sealed monsters underground? Why-” You abruptly snatched it out of his hands and shoved it back into the shelf. You were sure it wasn’t even the right place, but you didn’t care. You were so full of rage, it was as if it filled your entire soul. Why did he have to be so insistent!

Before anyone could say anything, you turned on your heels and stormed out toward the door. You didn’t bother grabbing your coat as you did so. Someone like you deserved to catch a cold. You heard the voices shout your name in surprise right before you slammed the door behind you.

The chill hit you hard and fast, like running into a brick wall. Now you knew what Toriel meant when she said you would get sick quickly out there. But you didn’t care. It wouldn’t matter soon enough.

Before you even knew what you were doing, you marched out toward the road to Waterfall. Monsters you passed by gave you all sorts of weird looks, but you paid them no mind. You couldn’t help but shiver as you walked, and snot was starting to drip from your nose. You were such a mess. No wonder everyone felt bad for you.

The clear snow eventually turned to a fog. It started out fine at first, but soon became so thick you could barely see two feet in front of you. You could tell you were losing all sense of direction. So what? You could wander around in this fog for eternity. At least no one would be able to find you.

You felt half of your foot touch nothing but empty air. At once, you were hit with the memory of finding that pit in Mt. Ebott. The moment that had stated all of this. The moment that you turned back from your original plan. Because you were too scared to go through with it. However, this wasn’t an endless pit. It was a freezing river. And you weren’t turning back this time.

You stared down at the relatively slow-moving water. If someone were to fall in, they’d have a lot of trouble doing it, but they could swim out if they wanted to. Unfortunately, you didn’t plan on doing that.

You searched for any emotion, but there was nothing. Even the anger you felt before was gone. It felt as if the library was years away. Now, you only felt as numb as your hands and feet. Regret, no. Sadness, not a chance. Just grim acceptance. You weren’t needed down here anyway. No one really wanted you around. Not on the Suface, not Underground. You didn’t need to exist.

You put one foot out, and closed your eyes.

“Chara!”

You froze. Behind you, the sound of hurried footsteps gradually came closer and closer. Asriel had caught up. Despite yourself, you turned around.

Asriel was panting heavily, bent over with his hands on his knees, and like you, had forgone his coat. But unlike you, he had a nice layer of fur. You stared at him with a blank expression. You couldn’t even bring up an emotion for him.

“Chara, come back, please!” You didn’t say anything. “If it’s something I said, I’m sorry!” He finally looked up at your face. You could see the glint of tears in his eyes, even in the dense fog. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell me what was wrong, I just wanted to… to… I just wanted to see you be happy again!”

You felt something.

It was as if a piece of your hardened exterior had chipped off. Your expression softened. You were feeling regret. It started off as a small emotion in the deepest pit of your soul, but gradually blossomed into full-on sadness.

Asriel cared about you, you knew that! He had proven it again and again! So why did you think he didn’t? Were you just so deep into your own self-loathing to remember? Just because you hated yourself didn’t mean he did. He was the definition of love and compassion!

You stepped forward, away from the river, and embraced Asriel in the tightest hug you could manage. He was giving off so much warmth, it was like stepping back inside for a moment. At first, your brother froze, surprised. But you quickly felt his arms on your back, squeezing you tightly.

“I’m sorry, Asriel,” you whispered. Strangely, you weren’t crying. Maybe you had cried enough for an entire lifetime already. It certainly felt like it. But you had a feeling Toriel and Asgore would be crying out of relief when they found you. They just liked— no, loved— you that much. You might not have deserved it, but they still did. It felt nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this story so far, but unfortunately, it will be coming to a close soon, probably within the next five chapters depending on how I decide to break it up. But it's been a fun write. I've certainly made myself sad a few times... *cough* the last few chapters *cough*. Anyway, see you next time.


	10. Sick

Miraculously, you didn’t get too sick from your freak out in Snowdin the day before. Or at least you didn’t think so. It was just a cough and a runny nose: nothing too serious. You had gone through way worse without any sort of medicine beyond what you had managed to find in the cabinets. Despite that, Asgore and Toriel were all over you with care. You were never alone for long. To be honest, it was kind of annoying. Someone always being around was something you weren't too used to, especially when it was over something this trivial.

“It’s really not that bad-” you sneezed, interrupting yourself. Okay, maybe your throat hurt a lot, and you felt pretty bad, but it wasn’t like you were going to die.

Toriel didn’t look convinced. She placed a large hand over your forehead, and regretted the extra heat just from that. It was bad enough in all of these blankets! “You still have a high fever, child. A few more days of rest and you’ll be fine.” As she said this, you noticed a slight frown. She was lying. She didn’t know anything about human illnesses, which wasn’t exactly her fault.

But to be honest, resting seemed like a good idea. You had been exhausted all day, and just staying up through pure will-power. And you had a feeling it was only noon. Maybe sleep would help make the time pass by. It wasn’t like you had Asriel to talk to. He’d been moved to his parents’ room just in case you were actually contagious to monsters. Being sick was so boring.

You lay back down and Toriel pat your head before pulling up your sheets again. You didn’t try to push them back down this time. Toriel was just someone you didn’t argue with. “Have a good rest, Chara.” She smiled as she went and closed the door behind her. You faded into unconsciousness some time later.

  


     The next few days were hard to place. Or, at least you assumed that they were days. It was impossible to tell. You drifted in and out of sleep for who knew how long. Usually, either Toriel or Asgore would be there with some food, but you soon found that you could barely stomach any of it. You had puked more times than you could count. Sometimes you even awoke to one of them cradling you in their arms. It was hard to think straight, but one thought was usually pretty clear: they care.

Once or twice, you woke up with Asriel by your bedside. You could have sworn he had one of those bad drawings of himself or characters he came up with, but you couldn’t really tell. All you knew was that he was explaining something to you with utter joy. It made you feel the same way, even if you physically felt like crap. You didn’t even know if he could tell you were awake, but he stuck around all of the time. Who knows, maybe all of that was a lucid dream. You couldn’t tell the difference much anymore.

This cold had gotten worse than you expected.

 

     For the first time in forever, you woke up with a clear head. It was pounding, and every part of your body felt like lead, but you could think to an extent. There was a weird taste in your mouth, but you figured that was normal. But this time, it wasn’t Toriel, Asgore, or even Asriel by your bed. It was a skeleton. The monster was digging through a small bag at the side of your bed. They were tall, and wore what looked like a black lab-coat like the kind you’d seen in movies. Or maybe a doctor suit. It was really hard to tell. But the thing was, you didn’t recognize this monster. At all.

You would have screamed in fear and surprise had you been able to. But you were barely able to move, much less speak. However, your shifting seemed to be enough to catch their attention. They looked up, and you cowered. They held up their hands as if to calm you down, and spoke some words in a language you just couldn’t understand at all. It was like listening to a sentence shoved in a garbage disposal.

At that time, you heard the door to your room open. By the heavy footsteps, you could tell it was Asgore. You attempted to sit up, and by Asgore’s expression, he was surprised to see that you were even awake. Or at least visibly more conscious than usual. “Chara! You’re looking better already. Thank you, Dr. Gaster.”

Gaster smiled and nodded at Asgore before speaking in that language again, making all sorts of motions with his hands to go along with it. You didn’t understand it at all, but Asgore apparently understood it perfectly. “It seems the medicine did the trick then.” Finally, he turned his attention back to you. You were already starting to feel tired again. “Chara, this is one of my closest friends, the Royal Scientist, W.D. Gaster.” So he wasn’t just some crazy guy in your room. Good to know.

“He was the only one we could think to call since you were so sick,” he smiled, “but it looks like his brilliant mind came through again. Really, thank you.” Once again, Dr. Gaster nodded and made his leave from the room. Your eyelids drooped. “How about you get some more rest, Chara. I’m sure you’ll be good as new soon enough.” You once again started to fall asleep.

You really wished you could take a bath. You felt gross.

  


     Another two days passed before you were deemed well enough to leave bed. The medicine that royal scientist gave you really seemed to do the trick. You weren’t even throwing up anymore! You were still sniffling and coughing, but you were back to normal cold stuff. Maybe you actually had the flu? Nevertheless, everyone was thrilled at your quicker recovery. But neither Asgore or Toriel could have reached Asriel’s enthusiasm.

Almost as soon as you were out of your room, you were hit with an almost-tackle hug from your brother. You only barely managed to keep your feet on the ground. “Jeez, Azzy. Calm down…” Damn, your throat still hurt.

He smiled sheepishly after you managed to pry his arms off of you. “Sorry… It’s just, you were sick for almost two weeks and it’s just not as fun without you around. And I was really worried for you.” Didn’t he have any more friends than you? Actually, that was probably right. What kind of kid wanted to play with the prince? They were probably afraid of offending him or something. Please. Like Asriel would ever want to get revenge on someone for beating him at tag.

“Wow, you really do care,” you said jokingly.

“Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I?” Man, jokes were lost on this kid.  

You shrugged it off. Forget it. “Let’s head down to the garden. I haven’t been down there in weeks!” Before he could respond, you made your way toward the stairs. You deserved to do what you wanted after being bedridden for two weeks. Probably two of the worst weeks in your life. Luckily, Asriel didn’t protest.

If only he knew what you were planning to do down there.

 

     When the two of you got to the garden, you got right to work, grabbing your own personal watering can from its place on the floor. It hadn’t been moved at all, which you were glad about. Despite everything, you still hated people messing with your stuff. Just a weird quirk, you supposed. Asriel grabbed his own in joined you in making your rounds about the spots the two of you were responsible for.

As you went around, you deliberately avoided the buttercups, saving them for last. Whenever you looked at them, you were overcome with a severe sense of revulsion and panic. You had long since decided what you wanted to do, but thinking about it just made you sick. You didn’t want to leave. But it was best for everyone. Everyone would forgive you, and even if they didn’t, you’d still know you did the right thing. What’s one kid VS an entire race.

“Hey, Chara?” You turned at Asriel’s voice. “Do you know what today is?” You raised an eyebrow. What was he talking about? Despite your confusion, Asriel smiled. “It’s the day we first met; when you fell down that hole in the mountain!” You froze. It was that day already? You couldn't even focus on the date for the past few weeks. Asriel didn’t seem to notice your surprise. “Yeah, I know. Can you believe it? We’ve been best friends and siblings for a whole three years.” 

You could feel your own guilt weighing you down now. Of all the days...

Asriel sat down in the grass, careful to avoid any flowers, and you joined him, mostly because you felt as if you’d fall over. He looked as if he was deep in thought, which was rare for him. “You know, before you, I didn’t really have any friends. I was always just _the Prince_ , someone you weren’t supposed to make angry. And so everyone avoided me when they could. When I did play with anyone, they always just let me win, because they thought that's what I wanted. It wasn’t much fun having everyone be afraid of me.”

Finally, he turned his head to look at you. You could feel the happiness radiating him. It clashed with the negativity you could feel in your own soul. “So, when we went to the Ruins that day and found you, I was so happy, but really scared too. You could have been a new friend, or someone else who was afraid of me. But from the start, you never even saw me as the prince, or even a monster. Just… me. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.”

He smiled broadly, and you could see the sparkle of tears welling up in his eyes. “Chara, thank you. These last three years have been the best I’ve ever had.” Before you knew it, Asriel’s arms were wrapped around you in the warmest and most special hug you’d ever felt. Toriel’s were motherly, and Asgore’s all-encompassing, but Asriel’s were full of so much love, you couldn’t help but love him back.

 _Is this really the best way to do it? I don’t want to leave…._  Hesitation welled up from deep within your chest. You wanted to stay like this, with your family. You didn't want to die anymore. But you had to. This was the way that was best for everyone. It wasn’t like you even deserved to live with them. Yes, this was the best way for you to get everyone their happy ending. To atone for humanity’s sins.

You had to die and become nothing more than a soul to break the barrier. It was the best way.

You pulled away from the hug unconsciously, but Asriel seemed to understand you were done. Hugs just got weird after too long. And you weren't one for long physical contact, even with him. “I’m gonna go upstairs and help Mom make the surprise cake— I mean, dinner.” He paused. “Ah, don’t tell anyone I spoiled the surprise!” You nodded and forced out a smile.

“No problem. I didn’t hear a thing.” Your gaze was drawn to the buttercups again. “I’m going to be down here for a while.”

Asriel smiled. “Well, see you in a little bit.” With that, he left the room. Once again, you were alone in the garden. The only difference from last time was that you were too determined to not go through with your plan this time.

You stood and walked over to the buttercups. Your heart was beating at a mile a minute. Every step you took closer was another constriction in your chest. To think, you just got better and you were going to make yourself sick again. You chuckled to yourself from some sick sense of humor buried down inside yourself. How ironic.

Finally, you reached them. The yellow flowers reminded you of the golden flowers by your hometown. Despite everything, you really wanted to see them again. Who knows, maybe you would still be conscious after convincing Asriel to absorb your soul and head to the surface. Or not. But that was even if your old brother hadn’t destroyed them all.

You grabbed a large handful of them. This would be enough. Just a few made Asgore sick after all. You shook with.... some emotion. Sadness? Relief? Regret? Too many were swirling around in your SOUL. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.

You began to tear the tops of the flowers off and tossed the stems to the ground. Soon, you were left with an entire handful of buttercups. Just looking at them made you think of how sick you'd be in just a bit. Mom would probably cry. Dad would try to be strong. And Asriel would probably break down. But it was all for the greater good, you reminded yourself. Seeing the sun would make up for it.

“Mom, Dad, Asriel,” you muttered. “I’m sorry.”

You shoved the entire handful of flowers in your mouth.

As you chewed the intensely bitter plants, a thought occurred to you. You had referred to them as your parents. They were more like your mom and dad than your real ones. And Asriel was a much better brother. You would miss them.

You swallowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, it's a Gaster! Because why the hell not? I was tempted to have someone mention him having sons *cough* SansandPapyrus *cough* but I decided against it. Figured I'd just leave it ambiguous as to what relation Gaster has to the skelebros.


	11. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, shorter chapter this time. But it's the moment you've all been waiting for! Or not. I sure wasn't ready (Same for everyone else). 
> 
> God I'm evil.

For a while, you were fine. No horrible pain, no gut-wrenching sickness. You felt normal. Then again, it was just stupid to expect yourself to feel the pain of death instantly. You sat down in the flower patch, intent on waiting for something to happen. You could still taste the bitterness of the flowers. You wished you had brought a glass of water.

After a while, you began to feel something. It started small, a weird irritation, but it grew into a painful burning within seconds. Your mouth felt as if it was on fire, like that time you cut your leg and it got infected, but much worse. It was as if your entire mouth was infected! Before you knew it, the pain had grown unbearable and you were frantically rubbing your cheeks as if that would stop the pain. After who knows how long, you realized that you were screaming from the pain.

This was an awful plan.

Your gut exploded in pain. It was like getting stabbed in the gut. And the pain didn't stop. You clutched your stomach and clenched your eyes shut. You dropped to the ground in agony. You didn't even care that you were getting dirt all over yourself or crushing flowers. You barely even noticed when someone walked in.

“Chara, it’s almost time for dinner, would you- Chara!” You could tell it was Dad, but you couldn’t open you eyes at all or speak. Why did it have to hurt so bad? In seconds, you felt him pick you up, and the feeling on moving very quickly. You felt like you were going to barf.

Between your frequent moans of pain, you heard Dad muttering to himself. Things like “How are they sick again” and “We must call Dr. Gaster again!” were the most frequent. You could hear the panic in his voice, and even though you felt like death, you felt more sorry for him. How could you put your father through this?

Finally, you felt him running up the stairs, and then shout for Mom. Before you knew it, you were back in the bed you had spent the last few weeks in. It looked like you were going to make it a full two weeks. If you even lasted that long. Your head was already starting to feel muggy.

Your mom knelt over you, rubbing your forehead gently. You were probably burning up. Your Dad was on a phone, probably trying to reach Doctor Gaster. You could see the immense worry in their expressions. The wide eyes, the pained smiles. But it was too late. And all for the best.

“You’re going to be okay, Chara,” Mom said soothingly. It gave you a false sense of security. “It’s all going to be alright.” No, you weren’t. But it was going to be perfectly fine. Another burst of pain shot through your body. You winced, causing concern to flash over your mother’s face.

At that moment, you heard Dad shut off the phone with a loud click. “He’s not picking up. I’ll have to go to his lab myself.”

Mom stood up and walked over to him. “Please, hurry back dear.” She didn’t say it, but you had a feeling she knew what was happening to an extent. She knew that you probably weren’t coming back from this illness.

“I know.” With that, he opened the door and hurried out, his loud footsteps resounding through the house. And with the door open, Asriel slipped right in. He looked even more concerned than your parents. He ran right up to the bed, with tears in his eyes. God, such a crybaby.

“Chara! Are you okay? Mom and Dad look really upset and you were fine just a while ago and- You managed to force yourself to sit up, cutting him off. You ignored the pain in your abdomen.

“It’s f-fine,” you forced out. Man, even talking hurt. Especially when you were lying. “Just sick.”

Asriel’s expression calmed some, but you had a feeling he could tell you were just pretending for his sake. He was too perceptive for his own good sometimes. “Chara, I….”

At that moment, your mother interrupted. “Asriel, I’m going to finish up dinner. We can’t have the food cooked wrong, after all. Please, stay with Chara.” She walked out, but her movements were stiff and generally just off. She was trying to keep it together in front of you. She just couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

Now that she was gone, it was time to get Asriel to play his part, as much as you hated it. “Asriel, I lied. I’m going to die.” Saying it out loud sent an uncomfortable jolt through your body. You really were going to die now. It wasn’t just some messed up concept in your head. Death was ahead of you.

Asriel didn’t take it well at all. The moment you uttered that last word, his mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but only a choked sob came out. The tears flowed freely. “Chara! No! You’re not going to die! You can’t!”

You looked away. You couldn’t stand to see this. “Yes, I-I am I can already tell. But I need you to do something for me.” Talking hurt so much, but you had to keep going.

“N-no! I can’t because you won’t die! I won’t accept it!” His cries were turning into shouts, and you just prayed Mom couldn’t hear.

“Please, Asriel!” You were starting to get desperate now. If you couldn’t get him to go with your plan, then what? You would die for nothing. “I need you to absorb my SOUL.”

“What!”

“You need to cross the barrier and find six more SOULs so you can break it completely. Then, everyone can go free and have their happy ending.”

Asriel’s eyes were wide with fear and surprise. “Wh-what? No, I can’t absorb your SOUL! Why would I do something like that!”

“Because you need to! Don’t you want everyone to be free? This is the only way. I’m going to die anyway, so at least make my life worth something!”

“I… I don’t like this idea, Chara.” He began to cry again, the light glinting off of his tears. Why did you have to do it like this?

“Stop crying already….” you muttered. He somehow managed to stop sobbing, but the tears still ran down into his now damp white fur.

“Wh-what? No… I’m not crying. Big kids don’t cry.” He wiped his face on his sweater sleeve. His eyes were red already.

You managed to force a small smile. “You’re not doubting me, are you? Besides, we’ll still be together. And as strong as your ‘God of Hyperdeath.’”

“No, I’d never doubt you, Chara. Never!” He managed a small smile. You knew it was fake. “Yeah, we’ll be strong! We’ll free everyone!”

You smiled slightly, and then a thought came to you. You were kind of surprised you didn’t think of it earlier. Maybe you could see those golden flowers again. “Hey, do you mind taking me up there with you? I wanna go by the golden flowers in my village again. You can’t miss ‘em.”

He nodded after a bit of hesitation. Why wouldn't he? You'd be dead by then. “O-of course. I’ll go get the flowers.” You sighed and lay back down. Despite all of the pain you were feeling, you felt at ease. Everything was falling right into place (even if that did sound like something a crazed villain would say). It was time for a happy ending. And to think, all it took was a single life. 

You forced yourself to reach behind your neck and unhook the chain there. You always wore the heart pendant, to the point that it was just a normal part of your wardrobe. It was pretty much the only thing left of your old life. “Hey, Asriel. Hold onto this for me, okay?” You dropped it into his hands. You couldn't even hear his response, if there was one. Everything was starting to go dark. You just wanted to sleep.

"You should be smiling too," you said, barely aware of what you were even saying. "Aren't you happy? Aren't you excited? You're going to be free..."

As you closed your eyes, you noticed the camera on the nightstand. It had been charging there since last night, when Asriel was playing with it. A red light shone on it. It was recording and pointing right at you in bed. You really should remember to turn it off more often. 

 

* * *

 

A lot of time passed, you could tell that much. But you couldn’t open your eyes. It was like you were floating, trapped in an empty space. You had fallen asleep, you knew that. But you didn’t feel awake or asleep. It was something in between. Your body didn’t hurt any more

Dimly, you heard something. It was like listening to someone talk while you were under water. It was just harder to concentrate.

 _“Chara, can you hear me? We want you to wake up…”_ Asriel’s voice. It was hard to tell, but you thought his voice was cracking as he spoke. Was he crying again?

 _“Chara! You have to stay determined!”_ Was that Asgore? His voice sounded even more distant. “You can’t give up! You are the future of humans and monsters!” He sounded pained too. Why was that again? You’re thoughts were too unclear. It was like your head was filled with cotton.

More and more words echoed around you, until they just faded into meaningless babbling. You couldn’t tell the difference between who was speaking anymore. You just wanted to sleep.

 _“Chara, I don’t like this plan anymore…._ ” Plan? What plan? _“I… I… no, I said I’d never doubt you. Six, right? We just have to get six.”_ What were they talking about? Six what? You felt so tired. You’d figure it out after you woke up….

Suddenly, you could see something. A dim light shone around you, lighting up the darkness just a bit. You looked down, seeing a glowing red heart set in your chest. Somehow, you could tell it was your SOUL. It shuddered every few seconds, sending uncomfortable tingles through your body every time.

It was about to break. This was it. This was what your plan lead to. The only thing holding your SOUL together was some primal need not to die. But this was what you wanted, right? It was time to let go.

You fell back. Your SOUL detached and floated above.

It burst, sending jagged shards of red raining down.


	12. The Surface

You floated in that void for what felt like forever. You were falling, but staying still at the same time. Your thoughts were muddy, and it hurt to remember where you were. You just wanted to sleep. Yeah, sleep sounded nice. You closed your eyes.

You stopped. The sudden jolt briefly snapped you out of your daze. The memories came flooding back. You were Chara, and you had just died. So what now? And what about Asriel?

There was a strange tug at your core, and you felt yourself floating back up very quickly. You started to panic. What was happening? Where were you anyway? Then, a bright red light came into view. It was only a small dot, but it was blinding in the dark void. You came closer and closer, and it grew bigger and brighter until you stopped right in front of it. It was your SOUL, but much stronger than when you saw it before death.

Tentatively, you reached forward. Your fingers grabbed hold of the glowing heart. A warmth filled your body, filling the void you hadn't realized was there. On instinct, you pulled it back into your chest. What was happening? Were you alive again?

Suddenly, you felt another presence. Standing ahead of you was a pure white SOUL. And forming around it was a familiar figure. Just in black and white.

"Asriel!"

"Chara!" The two of you ran forward, before slamming into each other with a hug. "I thought… you were really gone."

"Of course not, dummy!" You laughed, but you weren't sure why. You knew this was happening, right? "So, you did it? Absorbed my SOUL?"

His expression hardened when you said absorb. Even you had to admit it was an ugly word in this situation. "No, that's why we're here now…" He held out his hand, but refused to look at you. You could sense the hesitation radiating from him. But this was no time to back out. You reached out and took his hand in yours.

"Asriel, thank you. And… I'm sorry."

 

 

You opened your eyes. The world was too bright as far as you were concerned. Then again, anything was bright after spending eternity in a dark void. Every color blended together, and you could barely make anything out. Your body felt weird too. Everything was off. It was like your limbs were too long and too heavy. And you had the weirdest feeling in your core, like there was someone with you and you were alone at the same time.

"Asriel… are you…?"

"Mom?" You asked. Wait, no. You didn't. Your mouth moved on its own. For that instant, it was as if your thoughts were shoved aside by another's. The pull on your mind was odd. But finally, your vision cleared up. You brought your hands to your face and wiped them.

But why were your hands so warm and fuzzy? You blinked. In front of you, you didn't see your own hands. They were larger, and looked more like white paws. More like Asriel's. You gasped and stepped back. You were taller too, much more than before. You towered over everything in your room. Inwardly, you laughed. God of Hyperdeath. Mom and Dad were staring at you with concern. You were Dad's height. And on the bed…

You.

You were lying in the bed, covered in a thin layer of sweat. Or rather, your body was. You were dead. That body lacked a SOUL. So what were you doing still alive?

"I-I'm fine," the other force said again. "But there's something I have to do." Wait, you knew who that was. You and Asriel were in the same body? But how?

"N-no!" Dad suddenly commanded. He suddenly stood up tall, dwarfing you despite the fact that you were the same size now. You both cowered under his gaze. "I know what you're thinking, but you cannot cross the barrier!"

You pushed Asriel's side of your consciousness aside with more force than you wanted. "I have to do this, Dad! This is what I… Chara wanted me to do!" You had to pretend to still be Asriel. No one could just be thinking you were still alive. You stepped forward and pushed him aside. Somehow, it was easy, like pushing a door open. You were strong. Too strong. So this was the power of a human and monster together.

Mom attempted to intervene, placing a hand on your shoulder. You didn't look. "Asriel, I know you're upset, but this isn't the way to-"

Your expression hardened, and you promptly reached down with both hands, picking up your prone body. The mere act of touching your own dead body made you shudder. This was wrong in so many ways. You could feel Asriel resisting, probably having doubts, but you ignored him. You had gone too far to step back now.

"Asriel! As your father, I forbid you to-"

"Shut up already!" You felt Asriel recoil at your outburst. You just couldn't hold it back anymore. All of this was so close at hand, and now they were trying to stand in your way. This was all for them in the first place! Why couldn't anyone but Asriel understand? "I'm going. And you can't stop me."

You turned and marched out of the room, faster than you would have liked. Your parents were too shocked to do anything about it.

"Chara, I think that was sort of mean," Asriel's voice echoed in your head. You really were sharing a body. It was just as weird for him as you. It was like you were sharing a head too. His emotions kept leaking into yours. Along with some… memories? It was gradual, but the more you probed, the more you could recall faint memories that could only be Asriel's. All about his parents. Probably because he felt bad about you shouting at them.

"They-they'll understand. As soon as this is over, we can explain everything." You walked down the stairs to the basement. But all of a sudden, you heard hurried footsteps chasing after you. It was both of them. They were trying to stop you. Why? You were doing this for them! For everyone

"Maybe we should listen to Mom and Dad. They're the adults here! And now that you're technically still alive…"

"Would you just let me do what we have to!" You snapped back. You could feel the rage bubbling up inside of you now. It just permeated every part of your SOUL, and you could feel Asriel shy away from it. But he wasn't giving up. Even as you hurried your footsteps down the long hallway. Almost in a full sprint.

"You're scared, Chara, aren't you?" You flinched, allowing Asriel to take control for a moment. Your shared body slowed to a walk. He almost dropped your body in the rapid shift.

"You-you don't know what you're talking about!"

Asriel's presence attempted to calm you down, like a warm hand on your shoulder, but you only resisted more. You wrested control again and went in a dead sprint down the hallway. You were far faster than your parents could ever be.

"I know what you're feeling, Chara." You ignored him. You were getting close to the garden. "I-I can see some of your memories too. I understand why you had those nightmares all of the time!" You stiffened. Why did he have to bring those up?

"That doesn't have anything to do with this, okay?" You shouted that aloud. You weren't sure why. "I don't need you telling me what I feel! And I don't want to talk about the nightmares."

Once again, Asriel tried to wrestle control from you, adn succeeded. You were now in the garden. He forced you to stand still. Right in front of the buttercups. You felt sick again. "I know what you did. But, I also know why you did it." A sigh escaped from you both. "You don't want to go back, do you? Back to that terrible life? I don't blame you. I'm terrified too." He wasn't lying. The fears that were welling up in your SOULs were a perfect match for each other.

I don't think I can face anyone again…" you muttered aloud. Asriel was letting you take control again. "I never wanted to, so when I realized I never had to go back, I was so happy. But knowing that my life was all that stood between everyone's hopes and dreams… how could I keep on living? You've done more for me than anyone. And I just wanted to return the favor. It's not like…"

Asriel interrupted, but not out of a need for control. Just to stop you from beating yourself up. "Stop it, Chara. You're not useless. And I care about you more than any monster or human. But now we're in this together, no matter what. So how about we face both of our fears together? We can do anything when we're together like this."

If you had been in separate bodies, you would have taken his hand in yours and hugged tightly for as long as you were able. But now you were one-in-the-same. No hugging anymore.

That was one thing you'd miss.

Together, you made your final journey toward the barrier.

 

 

For the first time in a lifetime, you stepped into the sunlight.

Sure, some light from the sun filtered in through obscure holes in the surface of the Earth, but it had been an entire year since you'd felt pure, unfiltered sunlight on your skin. Passing through the barrier had been an uncomfortable experience. Feeling this made up for it. You felt so warm, and not just because of Asriel's fur.

You could feel the sense of wonder radiating from Asriel's SOUL. The smile on your face was shared between the two of you. This really was the Surface. And the dawn of a new day.

You looked around, trying to get your bearings. After exiting the cave, you found yourselves in a forest. You weren't too sure, but you thought you recognized the place. If you were right, it was actually very close to your village. What luck! A sudden thought made you stare down at your prone body for a moment. You really did want to see the flowers again. A quick stop before the nearest cemetery wouldn't hurt. You had to face your fears sometime.

"Agreed," Asriel said. It was going to get weird, having someone have a general idea of your thoughts at all time. But you'd get over , you began the trek to your town. Along the way, you began to see familiar sights. That cluster of rocks your brother's friends used to play on when your parents forced him to bring you along. The tree you tried to carve a word into, but only managed to make a collection of chicken-scratch. Even the tree that was struck by lightning two years ago and split into two. It was all there, but the memories associated with them felt like a lifetime ago. You were a different person then.

Finally, your village came into view. The houses and businesses you knew so well were standing right in front of you. It was the time. You tried to step forward, but you could no longer move your legs. A strong burst of apprehension took over. This was a bad idea. We should turn back now, while there's still a chance.

However, you could feel the calming presence of your brother with you. Together, you could handle anything! Even the people who made your life terrible.

You stepped into the village for the first time in a year.

Strangely, everything was quiet. You didn't see anyone outside, and the only sound was the wind whistling through the empty streets, with the occasional piece of trash floating in it. It was eerie.

Asriel was quick to voice his concern. "It's not supposed to be this quiet, right? Or am I reading your memories wrong?"

You gazed up at an open window. "I wish it was this empty all of the time. I don't know what's going on." A shiver spread through your system. This wasn't right. "Let's just see if the flowers are still there and get out of here."

You walked through the streets, gazing at the empty houses and roads. You felt no love for this place, but you couldn't help but let the few good memories arise. As you walked past the bakery, you remembered the time the baker had given you a free cinnamon roll after seeing some of the others pick on you. The library reminded you of all the books you had been able to read. A strange feeling arose in your chest. Not sadness, definitely not, but not happiness either. You just felt weird.

Finally, you came over the hill that led down to your home. And you were met with the strangest site. All around, you could see Golden Flowers. It was a field of gold that wavered in the breeze. They weren't gone. And there were even more than ever. But why?

"See? They wouldn't get rid of these flowers," Asriel said proudly. "They're just too beautiful. Even more than your drawing." You would have blushed at that comment if you could, but you had let Asriel be in control. Why did he like crappy drawings like that? But the idea that what you loved wasn't destroyed in the end. It was a weird feeling. Maybe the flowers just grew out of control.

After a moment of standing there, letting the soft breeze blow over you, you were both ready to go. You saw what you needed, and it was amazing. But you then noticed something in the field behind your house. It looked like a person. After straining your ears for a moment, you heard voices. Was it your family? Or the missing villagers?

"Let's take a look," you suggested. It felt like Asriel was about to protest, but you dragged him forward. You had to know why people were here and not anywhere else. It was a small village, but never this quiet.

You walked down the path, avoiding the flowers as best as you could. But with your new, larger form, it was a challenge. You were still getting used to it, and were very clumsy. Your feet kept brushing up against the flowers, getting pollen all over them. That was going to be a challenge to wash off later. But eventually, you made it to your door. In all honestly, you were glad you didn't have to go back inside.

Carefully, you edged around the house and looked toward the back. What you saw was even more shocking than the flowers. Almost everyone you knew from the village was gathered there, in front of something. You couldn't tell what it was. They all looked… sad, from what you could see. What had happened? Did someone die?

Then, you saw it. Someone moved. They were all standing in front of a rounded rock, with golden flowers laying before it. It was a tombstone.

Your tombstone.

The picture sitting in front of it was one of the few nice ones you had taken. On a day where you face wasn't bruised or your hair cut short instead of how you liked it. Your blood ran cold, and you stumbled backward. Asriel took over as to not let you drop your own dead body. Your mind was going into overdrive. "Wh-why? Why are they doing this! Is it some sort of cruel joke? Are they celebrating me being gone?" No, that didn't make sense. They all looked sad, even your bullies. Dimly, you recalled that this was the day you'd gone missing last year.

"I don't think so," Asriel replied. He was trying to get you to calm down. And failing. You could feel your panic and confusion seeping into his consciousness too. "I think this is some sort of memorial service. Everyone… looks sad."

That wasn't possible! Memorials were for people who had others that cared about them. You didn't have anyone like that up here! You could feel it getting harder to breathe. You weren't even wanted from the start! This had to be some sort of joke! "That can't be happening! I- they all hate me! Why do you think I ended up on Mt. Ebott anyway! There's no way they're upset that I'm gone! Not my mom, not my dad, and not my brother!"

" **Especially not him, damn it!** "

You froze. You had shouted that aloud. And everyone heard it.

The villagers all turned around at once, and stared in shock. The world was silent and still. Neither you nor they could carry the will to move. But at the back of the crowd, you noticed a familiar face. It was your brother. He was taller now, but nowhere near as tall as you. And he had tears running down his face.

It felt like someone fired a spear right through your SOUL. You stumbled back, in shock. That was what finally broke the silence.

"I-is that a monster?" Someone cried. Murmurs of agreement spread throughout the crowd.

"And the person they're carrying…"

"Are they… dead?" The tension in the air was growing. Both you and Asriel wanted to run, but your feet were planted firmly on the ground. You couldn't move a muscle.

It was then that your brother spoke. His voice could only barely be heard. "I-it's Chara."

He had used it. The name you always wanted to be called instead of your other one, the one your parents gave you. But everyone had shot it down the moment you uttered it. But now that you were dead, apparently it stuck. However, your brief happiness was superseded by your brother's rage. "That monster killed them!"

At once, the villagers were in a rage. You wanted to speak, to say that you were fine, to explain everything, but your mouth just wouldn't work. But apparently, Asriel was more on top of things than you. "Chara! We need to run."

It was chaos from there. The moment Asriel turned and set off at a run, the riot began. Rocks began flying at you, and although they didn't hurt, they were more than enough to impede your progress. Asriel had to duck low to avoid getting hit in the head. More than a few times, he stumbled, only to crush a few flowers. This wasn't good.

By the time you reached the top of the hill, bad had gone to worse. The moment you heard the bang behind you, you knew what was happening.

Your family always had a large gun collection.

Asriel made the mistake of stopping to look back at the sound. Before you could take control, you felt a stabbing pain in your arm. It cut straight through you, and you and Asriel shared a cry of pain. It was like a straight line across the top of your arm was covered in fire. You looked down. The arm was only grazed, but what was struck looked loose and… dusty. It spiraled into the air, and blew away quickly in the soft breeze.

You recalled something you read in a book. Monsters' SOULs were weaker in comparison to human ones, so their bodies responded to attacks proportional to the amount of killing intent directed at them. And these people were out for your, er, Asriel's head. You would not be surviving this, even with the human SOUL in your body.

You heard another gunshot. At once, you forced yourself back into control and forced your body to the ground. The bullet whizzed over your head. "We have to keep moving!" You didn't even care about keeping your conversation mental any longer. There was no time for that sort of focus. All you could do was dodge and hope you weren't killed.

You ran as fast as you could, but it was only a matter of time until you were hit again. This time, the bullet struck your leg. You cried out and fell. Your face hit the dirt road. Neither of you wanted to look at the injury this time. You could already feel the dust fading away from it.

This time, Asriel took over. He pulled you both to your feet, but you could both feel the pain. You could tell enough now that whoever was in control had the most awareness of their senses. You were practically blacking out now. You could only imagine what he was going through. Asriel reached down and gripped the leg tightly. Green light began to emanate from his palms, and you felt the pain fade slightly. Apparently he was better at magic now.

That gave you an idea. Who needs to wait in a graveyard when there are tons of SOULs ripe for reaping?

Asriel finished healing up what he could, but there wasn't much time. He only made it possible to keep moving. Every step still brought a stab of pain, however. The humans would catch up eventually at this rate. There was only one thing you could do.

You recalled a time when you were actually on somewhat stable terms with your biological brother. He was taking you along with him to go hunting. The thought of killing an innocent animal terrified you, but he ignored it. He said it was something you had to do to "man-up". After following him through the forest, you eventually came across a deer. He wasted no time in shooting it right between the eyes.

You were horrified and even threw up at the sight. But your brother said it was a good lesson for you to learn.

In this world, it's kill or be killed.

You wrestled control from Asriel, even though he fought back. You were too determined to let this happen. You would die if this continued. So it was time to kill. You were stronger anyway. Even stronger than Toriel and Asgore. You gently put your body on the ground.

"Chara! What are you doing? We have to run!" He urged. You could tell he knew what you were planning. The humans were coming within sight. You began to focus on your shared SOUL. Just as you thought, there was a lot of power stored within. You let it out, the warmth flowing into your fingertips. The energy began to take shape: a hand-sized star bathed in rainbow light. Star Blazing.

"This is the only way, Asriel." You narrowed your eyes. They were coming closer. Your brother led the pack of gun-toting idiots. You could see that everyone was terrified. They should have been. You were the strong one now. Who cared if they felt bad? Who cares if they respected you now? They made your life a living hell for years! It was time you got some payback!

"Stop!" Asriel roughly shoved you aside. With more mental power than you thought possible, he gained full control. The attack you had been preparing dissipated completely, and he reached down to pick your body up again. He gingerly swept a misplaced strand of hair from your face.

"What are you doing!" You screeched. This couldn't be happening! You were filled with a terror-inducing mixture of emotions. But Asriel's SOUL purely radiated kindness. "Don't be an idiot! We'll die if we don't fight back!" In response, only a smile came onto Asriel's face. Even as another bullet tore through your body.

"Get the hell out of here!" Your original brother shouted. "Y-you killed my bro- sibling! And now you're gonna pay!" He lifted the gun again.

"It's not like you think," Asriel tried to explain. Another bullet. More dust.

"Azzy! Please! You'll die!" If you could have spoken, you would have been choking up right now. You didn't even care about the pain. Only what you were putting Asriel through. "Let me take over! We can't let them win!"

Your brother wiped his face. The others were only standing to the side, letting him vent of all of his rage. He had the most claim to this kill, you thought bitterly. "Shut up you fucking monster! I know what happened! You killed them, and now… now I'll never get to apologize! None of us will!"

Your thoughts of panic and escape stopped at once. In your shock, you accidentally took control. "A-apologize?" you stammered.

"We all treated them so badly... calling them a demon, the worst thing that had ever happened to us... When they ran away after knocking me out, I was just angry, I wanted revenge. But when I realized that they were gone forever…" He felt bad? " **I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU**! You took away the most important person in my life!"

Another bullet. Another burst of grey dust. You wanted to scream. Tell them that the monsters did nothing. Tell that that they were the real monsters. But no, that wasn't right.

You were. Just you.

You had fought your brother and run away. You were the one who tried to kill themselves up there, and it wasn't even the first time. You were the one who tricked everyone. You were the one who died on purpose. You were the one who ruined everyone's lives. You were the only true monster in this world. Everything had been your fault from the start. Maybe you should have just died up on Mt. Ebott.

Asriel didn't seem to react at all. "I'm sorry you feel that way. But just know, I didn't do it, okay? I'm going to miss Chara too." His voice carried nothing but sorrow. Maybe that's how you were feeling too. You just felt numb, gone to the world. You dimly saw the people before you lower their weapons, confused and not sure what to do. Asriel gave them one last kind smile. And then, he turned and began to walk.

You didn't face any more resistance as you left the village. Not that you could even tell. You wanted to disappear more than ever. Judging by the amount of dust leaking from every part of your body, you were going to disappear soon anyway. It was oddly appropriate.

"I'm sorry, Chara," Asriel's SOUL carried all of the dejection and sorrow that you felt. But you could also hear the slight chuckle from the irony of what had happened. "I-I guess I doubted your plan…"

"N-no. It was a bad idea. You were right." You hadn't noticed, but Asriel was limping. The wound had reopened on your leg. You helped by sharing control. Sharing the pain. He didn't try to stop you. "God, this was a terrible idea." Right foot. Left foot.

A small laugh escaped from you both. Just two kids, enjoying each other's company on a walk through the forest. Nothing wrong with that.

Finally, you reached the cave you had left from. You didn't hesitate before shambling in. It was getting harder to move. This was it. You really were about to die. Again. But it wasn't you you were worried about. It was Asriel. This really was the worst thing you had done. You had dragged your real brother into all of this.

You weren't sure when you two passed through the barrier. Or when you collapsed into your parents arms. Asriel coughed out a short version of what had happened when asked, but couldn't speak any more than that. The details were fuzzy. You couldn't sort through your thoughts enough. All you were really sure of was when you reached the garden and couldn't even limp any further. You simply fell upon the grass and flowers.

"Asriel, please!" You weren't sure who was speaking. It was getting hard to think or see. Even Asriel's thoughts were distant. "You have to get up! We-we can't lose two children in one day! We love you both! Please... don't go...."

You smiled a bit. One day, and you had found so many people really did love you. All it took was a little death to see it. You wished you could just bask in the love a little longer. It was nice. The best thing you'd ever felt.

 

 

You were back in the featureless abyss. Darkness went on for eternity around you. But this time, you weren't alone. Mixing with the red light of your SOUL was the grey of Asriel's. You could barely stand to look him in the eyes.

"Asriel, I just want to say…" There was so much you wanted to say. But nothing could excuse what you had done. There was only one thing that could come close. "I'm sorry." You could feel the burning in your nose and the tears welling up. A lump caught in your throat. God, this really was it. You felt your pain rising with every word. "I dragged you into this! And now, I got you killed! I'm the worst sibling ever!"

At once, you felt his body around yours, wrapped in a hug. The warmth of his SOUL calmed you down slightly. But the tears just wouldn't stop. You nuzzled his soft, warm ears with your cheek. "Stop blaming yourself, Chara. I think you've done that enough for one lifetime. You were the best sibling a guy could ask for."

You laughed slightly. His chest rose and fell under your arms. He was crying too. You would have looked terrible if anyone could see you. A thought suddenly occurred to you. "Hey, Azzy, did we ever figure out which one of us was older?" You had to know before...

"Well, I'm nine now," he replied.

"Eight," you said. "Guess you were the big bro the whole time." He laughed.

"Guess I was." You finally pulled apart. Both of your SOULs were looking rather bad. A spiderweb of cracked spread across both. It was almost time.

"Well you were the best older brother I could have asked for. No doubt." Without another thought, you planted a short kiss on his cheek. It was something you saw people who loved each other did a lot. And that included siblings.

"Hey, see you again, Chara." He smiled. "In the next life."

You nodded. "Definitely."

Your SOULs shattered. You hugged and fell into the cold darkness. But at least you were together.

Friends until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look. I made myself sad. I guess it doesn't help that I was listening to Undertale (the song on the OST) while writing this. 
> 
> I need to stop being so emotional.


	13. True Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another murder spree. Chara's gotten what they wanted, so why do they still feel empty?  
> Oh yeah, because they don't have a SOUL.

“hmm, that expression. That’s the expression of someone who’s died ten times in a row!” Your expression darkened, and you gripped the knife in your hands even tighter. The blood red blade glinted in the light that filtered into this golden corridor. You weren’t going to die again. Not to this comedian.

The skeleton closed his eyes somehow. “congrats! that’s the big one-oh.” You stared at him, eyes unblinking. “we can invite all you friends over, and have pie and hot dogs and-” He paused. “wait, something’s not right… oh yeah,” The lights that made up his pupils vanished in a flash. Even now, it made you flinch. His voice seemed to echo in your head. “you don’t have any friends.”

At once, you felt the familiar feeling of entering a FIGHT. The world around you faded into black and white. Your SOUL became visible, its red light shining even in this darkness. You could feel it swelling with all of the LOVE you had gained.

You couldn’t hide the smile on your face. You loved to FIGHT.

“it’s a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you...”

You realized what was happening at once. Before you could even cry out, a crushing feeling overtook your SOUL. It became blue, and with a wave of the skeleton’s arm, you were sent crashing down into the void. Just as you hit the white “ground”, you jumped up out of instinct. A row of bones that sprouted up below you, just below your feet. It was amazing how like his brother this skeleton was, right down to their magic. Just not how they used it.

At once, you felt the weight leave your body and possessed free movement again. Just in time to see the path of bones coming from the left. The first one crashed your SOUL, but you were used to the pain. From there, you flew through the things, avoiding each one nimbly. And from there came the blasters.

That was one thing that was different between Sans and Papyrus.

You went back and forth in the space allotted to you, narrowly dodging the white beams emitted by the skull-like weapons. The heat from floating right by them was searing, but nowhere near as bad as actually being struck by them. Even with your high HP, it was enough to stun and bring it down. But this time, not one landed a single hit. You dodged each and every one with a practiced finesse.

_**“should be burning in hell.”** _

Your array of options appeared in front of you, the orange light a familiar sight. You immediately pressed your palm against FIGHT, and ran forward. You brought down your knife, as you had done thousands of times. And just like every time before, Sans stepped cleanly out of the way.

He shrugged, that stupid grin still on his face. “What? You thought I was just going to stand there and take it?” No, not at all.

In hindsight, he really was too much like his brother. Despite their difference in work ethic, they both had that same idiotic sense of knowing they could win. It was only a matter of time before they failed. Papyrus (was that his name?) was easy. Even Jerry was more of a challenge than that idiot, if only because the loser had annoyed you more than every other monster.

“our reports showed a massive anomaly in the time-space continuum. timelines stopping and starting left and right…” You tuned him out. You’d heard this speech ten times before.

You jumped through the bones Sans sent at you. It was just like his brother’s attacks. Only faster. With more rage. That was one thing you liked about Sans. He wasn’t too weak to kill, like almost every other monster here. Even Toriel, your mother tried to keep from hitting you with her flames that first time. She couldn’t kill you if she tried. You knew you should have felt something with that knowledge, but you felt nothing. So, you went back and tried a different approach to feeling.

You killed her.

Still, you felt nothing. No sadness. No regret. You remembered dying in front of her so well, but you still couldn’t summon a single emotion when it came to killing her yourself. But when your LV rose… that got a rise out of you. It was like being bathed in a warm glow. You liked raising your LV. You liked the power that came from it. Nothing could stand against your DETERMINATION. Not Toriel. Not Papyrus. Not Undyne. Not Mettaton. And most of all, not Sans. You could kill them all.

You attacked again. He dodged.

“look, I gave up trying to go back a long time ago,” Sans said. Somehow, you sensed a tone of sadness in his voice. Good. He was distracted with his emotions.

He attacked again, sending the bones flying across your vision. You dodged with practiced precision, but even then, a few were bound to hit your mark. When his turn was over, you ripped open the packet of instant noodles you had brought and chomped into the block. They were better dry.

The rest of the attacks faded into a monotony, despite the danger you were in. He continued to speak, but you couldn’t help but listen.

“getting to the surface doesn’t really appeal to me at all anymore. ‘cuz even if we do, we’ll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right? kind of makes it hard to give it my all, you know?”

That stupid grin came back. “or is that just an excuse to be lazy? hell if I know.”

You dodged another blast from his weapons. So much for him being the weakest enemy. “But seeing what comes next? I can’t afford not to care anymore.” Not caring was better in your opinion. The less you cared, the more power you could get.

At first, you didn’t know what to do. You woke up in the ruins again. You thought dying with Asriel was just a bad dream. But the patch of golden flowers under you was new. And so was your body. You were sharing again, but not with Asriel. With Frisk. At first, you had about equal control. But Frisk wanted nothing more than to be peaceful. You wanted to lash out again, especially when that stupid flower showed up. Especially when he tried to tell you his sob story just a few minutes/hours ago. You didn’t even listen as you kept approaching him, knife in hand.

And then you realized killing felt great. Kill or be killed… that was the best philosophy in your opinion.

Suddenly, the tension faded from the room. You looked up at Sans, eyes narrowed. Why had he stopped? This… hadn’t happened before. He was sweating, as far as you could tell. He looked nervous. Good.

“ugh... that said, you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, don’t you?” You kept your expression blank, as if that was hard. “i know you didn’t answer me before, but… somewhere in there, there’s a glimmer of a good person inside of you. of someone who would do the right thing.” Him uttering that brought Frisk’s consciousness back a bit. You were stronger. You could push them back down again. So deep they’d never wake up again.

“someone who, in another timeline, might have even been… a friend?” Sans dropped his defensive stance, becoming more relaxed outwardly. But his face was still dripping with sweat. “c’mon buddy? do you remember me? if you’re listening, just lay down your weapon, and… well, my job will be a lot easier.” The black void faded away. You were back in the real world.

Sans was sparing you. You flinched.

A small force pushed against your mind, like being struck with a pebble in the head. Frisk was fighting back now. Their consciousness strained against your mental barriers. You growled. _“Just stop already! You’ve lost! You're the one who let me kill so much in the first place! There's no going back! I refuse to go back!”_

 _“No! I’m not going to let you kill anyone! Not anymore!”_ A feeling rose up in your chest, like something was trying to force itself out of your heart itself. Frisk’s DETERMINATION to stop you, to save their friends. It was overpowering yours! You pushed back, but it was a futile effort. They were… stronger than you expected.

Your mind, no, theirs. was filled with memories of past runs where you hadn’t gained total control, but made them RESET until you could. All the time they spent with their friends, the times they had fun. For the first time, you felt something.

Anger.

You pushed with all of the mental force you could muster. “Shut _up already! JUST LET ME WIN!”_

 _“Not this time.”_ All of a sudden, you were shoved out of power. Your consciousness fell back and your senses dulled. But no matter how much you fought, Frisk refused to let you back in. Their hand gingerly touched the MERCY button, gone unused for so long. It practically hurt you to see it used.

Sans flinched, taken aback. Frisk dropped the knife, your favorite thing. It clattered against the marble floor loudly in the silence of the corridor. Sans smiled. “... you’re sparing me? i know how hard it must be to make that choice. to go back on everything you worked for.” Frisk stepped forward, tears in their eyes and a wide smile on their face. “i just want you to know, i won’t let it go to waste.” He opened his arms for a hug.

“c’mere, pal.”

Frisk ran forward, slamming into Sans with a hug. You could feel his large coat brushing up against your skin. It was so puffy. So warm. Just like Asgore and Toriel. Back when they actually loved you. And Asriel too. Maybe… you were wrong to do this?

“Now do the right thing, kid.” At once, you felt a sudden pain rip through every part of your body. You hadn’t even gone back into the FIGHT and he had summoned bones everywhere. There was nowhere to go. Your body was ripped to shreds. Bones bleached red with your blood filled your fading vision. Everything hurt. Your HP was fading.

You looked up at Sans. His face was covered in sweat, but even more pressing was the fact that his body was fading. Fading into dust. He killed himself to stop you. “hehe. get dunked on.”

And right before you, your SOUL shattered. The pieces fell into the void.

 

* * *

 

You were back in what you called the Game Over void. Just like those video games you were never allowed to play. You had died in this game, and you just had to reload to try again. But this time, you hesitated.

For the longest time, you stood in that void, contemplating your options. Frisk stood there and watched. Their DETERMINATION had faded. You had the total control of this situation now. All it took was one thought, and you’d never make that mistake again.

So why were you hesitating? It was so easy! Just one thought and you could RESET. Finish what you started! Why couldn’t you? Sans had betrayed you, killed Frisk. You had to get your revenge!

But what did Frisk want? You stared back at them. They were just like you before you died. Quiet, unassuming. But where you were violent from the start, they were peaceful and kind to a fault. You just couldn’t understand it. They were better than you in every way. The kind of person the Underground deserved.

You tried to remember why you had died in the first place. To give everyone a chance to see the sun again. To make up for your every sin. To get some use out of your miserable life. What did killing every monster accomplish? Nothing, that's what.

Maybe it was time you let Frisk do things their way.

You reached out to RESET. Frisk smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it, the end of this story. It's been a great ride, and I'm so happy for the positive reception. Seriously, thank you all.


End file.
